


Shame

by Brevity (AmosLee1023)



Category: Silent Hill (Video Game Series)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Character Death, Depression, Embedded Images, Family Secrets, First Crush, First Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Josh and Alex Are Not Related, M/M, Military Background, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rating May Change, Scars, Secrets, Silent Hill: Homecoming - Freeform, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-01-16 00:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 39,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmosLee1023/pseuds/Brevity
Summary: [AU: Joshua and Alex aren't related]Joshua lives a perfect life for a small town boy; his dad's the sheriff, his mom's the best seamstress for miles, and his best friend is the mayor's son.That is, until a stranger comes into town by the name if Alex Shepard, and Joshua can't deny an instant attraction. To a man that everyone in town uses like a slave.Joshua wants answers, and only one thing comes from learning the truth. Learning all of the lies.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Remastering the chapters because it's been a while.

****

 

 

**Chapter One**

 

Joshua has been seeing a man around the house for a while; doing things around the yard, redoing the shingles on the roof, spreading tiles on the kitchen floor.

Through it all, the teen hadn't said "hi" once, or greeted the worker- hadn’t even learned his name. He was only seventeen, and he still got somewhat shy around new people. He had tried asking his dad who he was, though, but he didn't tell him- didn't hint to who he was.

When Joshua asked his mom, he got the same response, only she was weaker and had to change the subject, too.

The guy looked terribly lonely, though.

He was outside, plucking weeds at the little garden, barehanded and slouched over the nature. It was hot outside, so Joshua just watched him from inside the house, sitting by the window with a cup of iced water in his lap. The guy outside paused, leaned back on his haunches and wiped the hood of his hand over his face, to wipe away sweat.

He was in a dark tank top and cargo jeans with boots- not what he should be wearing for work out in this weather. His shirt wasn't black, so Josh could see where his sweat gathered on his shirt, down his back, under his neck and arms.

Joshua sipped from his water and exhaled through his nose.

"Joshua," Adam sounded.

Joshua looked over to his father, the older man standing with his mother beside him. "Yeah?"

"Your mom and I are running down to the store for a bit; watch the house. Don't let anyone in," Adam said and Joshua nodded, bouncing his leg a little. Adam stood there for a moment, watching his son, and then he looked at the window.

"And get away from the window. Go and read a book," he added, looking back to Joshua, and the teensger laughed, sitting back in his chair.

"Jeez, Dad, I got it. You and Mom have fun and uh, get me a snack. Please," he smiled to his parents and Lillian smiled back, placed a hand over Adam's.

"Let's go, honey," she said softly, and Adam turned with her, walked to the front door to leave. Joshua watched them leave and watched the door for a little after that before looking back out the window.

The guy was standing, rubbing his sweaty neck, back arched in a stretch from bending over for so long. He had a nice body. He was tone, tan, thin. He looked average- Josh didn't know why his parents seemed so weird about him.

It was time to get over stupid fears though and go say hi. His parents didn't want him going near the guy, so he gladly didn't because he was awkward. But now they were gone, and he felt that it was time to break a few rules.

Joshua stood from his seat and went out to the backyard through the kitchen, walked to the man. At first, he didn't notice him, sighing deeply while he pawed at his sore neck. Then Joshua decided to back out last second and spun back to the back door, but he stepped on a stick and it had gotten the man's attention.

Joshua looked back and met eyes with the man. His eyes were gray-brown, pale, and they looked worn and tired; wide, as he looked at Josh.

The man had a strong face, a firm jaw and a straight nose, facial scruff on his chin and jaw near his cheeks. He was drop dead handsome.

He tore his eyes from Joshua, though, and he walked quickly passed, dropping his hand down to his side. Joshua, in a daze, turned after the man and blurted a weird “Hi”.

The man didn't glance back, walking strictly across the yard to a spot where there was a coat on the ground. It looked light, had some small camouflage spots on it and a flag on the right shoulder. Was it an army coat?

The guy started walking to the back gate, the gate that led to the cemetery, and Josh cleared his throat while watching him.

“I'm Joshua,” he said and the man glanced back. He didn't say anything, so Joshua motioned a little, his cup of water rattling with ice. “I uh, see you here. A lot. What's your name?”

The man didn't reply, but Josh could see that his eyes were on his water.

“...Thirsty? You look pretty hot. Like- sweaty.” Joshua kicked himself.

The man watched him and his cup of water for a moment before shaking his head and turning away back to the gate.

“I- it's for you!” Joshua hurried after the man and held out the cup, the contents sloshing. The man glanced back again, looked at the cup and then Josh's brown eyes. “I haven't drank from it,” Josh added quickly and gave the cup a little shake. It was a lie, because he had, and the man knew it because he had seen Joshua watching him and drinking it, but his throat was rough and dry, so he took the glass and drank.

He drank it quickly, his adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow, some water leaking to his scruffy chin and glistening in the summer sun. Joshua watched him intently, lips tight. Who was this guy?

The water was finished, a little too quickly, and the man wiped his hand over his mouth to wipe away the water before dropping his hand to his side with the glass. Joshua watched him sigh deep, his eyes shut, taking in the chill of the cold water going through his chest to his stomach. Then he opened his eyes again, looked at the yard's green grass. Joshua took it as a chance to talk to him more, since he was already drawn into it.

“Um… Do you have a name?” he asked, and the man's eyes looked to him through a strict face.

“...I'm not allowed to talk to you. I've got to get going,” he finally spoke, and his voice was so naturally smooth that it made Josh blush. The teen still managed to cross his arms, though, to gain a questioning look.

“Why? Did my dad say that?”

“He didn't have to. Thank you for the water,” the man knelt, put the glass down onto the grass. Then he stood straight again with a slight grunt and a hiss, and Joshua blinked and twisted his lips.

“Are you hurt?”

The man didn't answer him, walked to the gate. Joshua would surely see him tomorrow as well, but he wouldn't be able to talk to him as freely. He wanted to find out who he was. He didn't stop him, though, let him leave.

Joshua sighed and grabbed the glass, carried it back inside the house. He walked to the kitchen and leaned over the sink, looking down to the empty glass. Who was he?

Adam and Lillian came home later in the day, gave Josh a sandwich from the quick stop. He didn't eat it, though- he put it in the fridge instead, hid it behind the gallon of milk so that his parents wouldn't question him about it.

Then they had dinner, and they all went to bed. Joshua didn't ask anything about the man to his parents this time, and they didn't say anything about him, either. Once Joshua was lying in bed, he watched the wall, thinking. What could he do to make the guy _talk_ to him?


	2. Summer Job

Three days later and he was still coming over. This time, he was weeding a different garden on the other side of the backyard and repainting the columns on the porch; the arches. Joey was over today, and he and Joshua were in the TV room upstairs. Joey had gotten bored of the old TV and taken to looking out the window, and he laughed, getting Josh's attention from a dumb TV show.

“Dude, you have that homeless guy working here?” Joey laughed.

Joshua blinked and raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Yeah dude, he's homeless. Lives down in the cemetery. My dad lets him stay there because he digs holes when we need 'em.”

“... Really?” Joshua stood from the couch to go and look out the window with Joey, and the man was knelt over a new bucket of paint, prying the lid off. He was in the same clothes as two days ago, and he visibly wobbled but caught himself and shook his head to better get a hold of himself, and Joey laughed.

“That is great, dude. Hey, do you have any soda?” He asked, and Josh nodded, motioning off.

“Uh, in my room. Dr. Pepper in the closet,” he replied, and Joey turned to leave the room with a “Sweet”.

Joshua took it as an opportunity to hurry from the room down the stairs to the first floor and to the kitchen. He still had the sandwich, and he grabbed the plastic container, snagged a water bottle from the top shelf.

Adam was in his hunting room cleaning, and Lillian was sewing in her sewing room. Joshua snuck out the kitchen back door to the backyard, and he walked to the man who was breathing heavily over the paint bucket. He had gotten the lid off and was regaining himself.

Joshua peeked around him to see his face.

“I um… brought you a snack,” he said, and the man looked at him. He looked agitated at seeing Joshua, and he shook his head again, held up a sweaty hand filthy with dirt and paint.

“No.”

“I've already brought it, here.” Joshua put the water on the ground, opened the sandwich container. The man shook his head again and glanced back to the house.

“No, thank you,” he replied, and Joshua followed his gaze to the house. No one was looking at them through the windows, and Joshua sighed heavily.

“Fine. I don't know why you're so stubborn- must be a soldier thing.” He grumbled and reached down the grab the bottle of water, and the man looked at him through glaring eyes.

“What do you know about soldiers?”

“Ha. What _don't_ I? My dad was one; you have the same coat. If you aren't going to be nice, I'm going back inside.” Joshua replied and turned back to the house.

“Alex Shepherd.”

It was the smooth voice, and Josh looked back.

“...Huh?” He had fully geared him, but he wanted to hear him talk more.

“My name is Alex Shepherd,” he said again, and Joshua smiled. Alex wasn't looking at him, his pale brown eyes on the bottle of water. Joshua walked back over to him and held out the sandwich container.

Alex took it but didn't eat from it. He closed the container again and put it in his coat that was on the ground near him, covering it up- hiding it. He did the same with the water.

“You know, uh… my dad doesn't use the hunting room passed eight. ..And the basement is nice and cold all of the time too,” Joshua spoke softly, kicking the ground lightly. Alex watched him through tired, narrowed eyes.

“...What are you implying?” he asked, suspicious, jaw clenching. Joshua gave a light shrug to seem careless.

“Nothing. It's just a fact.”

Alex looked away from Joshua, and the teen huffed because he had ruined the conversation. He did need to get back to Joey before he did something stupid, though. He breathed deep.

“No one uses the cellar door, either,” he added, but Alex was done. The man grabbed the paint bucket and stood, walked to the porch and picked up his paintbrush. Joshua sighed and walked passed him to go back into the house, and he could smell different scents of sweat and outdoors on Alex as he passed.

Inside, Joey was coming out of the dining room, a can of Dr. Pepper in his hand. He motioned to Josh.

“Dude, I couldn't find you. Wanna go look at some magazines or something?” he grinned, and Joshua shrugged.

“Okay.”

Joey was his best friend, but lately, Joshua didn't know what to do with him. Joey was wanting to get into alcohol, and he was into dirty magazines. He was kind of getting a little repulsive, and Josh didn't know how to tell him “no”. The magazines weren't Josh's by a long shot. They were Joey's, that he had stolen from his dad's study.

The two went to Josh's room and sat on his bed, and Joey grabbed his bag to pull out the mags. He was staying the night, and instead of clothes, he had broughten Playboy.

“Josh, check out this chick's tits.”

Joshua huffed through his nose, watching as Joey flipped to her page. She looked like just another sex model, breasts that had probably been surgically filled, tan skin, hands cupping the under of her boobs. Joey flipped through more of the book until there was an advertisement that caught Josh's eye. It was a flap in the middle of the magazine that showed an advertisement for some men's underwear, and it had a guy not too beefy showing off his body that garnered more attention than the boxer briefs. He was hot.

Hot? Joshua glanced away from the page. He had noticed his growing attention in men, and it had started when… a certain worker started coming over daily.

He didn't know how to act upon the growing feelings. He didn't feel anything like that towards Joey, or anyone else in his school. No, it was really just… Alex Shepherd.

Dinner was lasagna, and Joey ate like a pig; as usual.

“Well, I've cleaned up the hunting room. Once winter comes around, we'll already be ready for some deer meat.” Adam said, and Lillian nodded from her plate in response. Joshua looked at his dad.

“So you won't be going down there anymore?”

“Not really too soon. I've got more work at the department, with Wheeler, so I'll be gone for work most of the time.”

“Can I come over more often?” Joey asked from his plate, smiled at Adam. “Since it's summer break and all, and the reelection is gonna be coming around and stuff,” he spoke and Josh puffed from his seat. He didn't want Joey coming over daily like he had in the past.

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but Joshua cut in with a sudden desperateness to save his summer.

“I was thinking that I could get a summer job! ..Dad,” he smiled to his father, who watched him. He didn't look annoyed or upset.

“That'd be good, Joshua. Where are you planning to work?”

“Uhh, maybe Toluca Lake. Clean boats, do the bait shop.”

“Mm. Sounds good.”

Days passed, two of which Joey stayed over. Alex was working in the front yard this time, repainting the fence and straightening it, fixing it. It had been almost a week, and every time Joshua looked in the basement, it was empty. Alex hadn't been coming inside. It had been getting hotter out, though, and he looked like he was starting to hurt more.

That night, Joshua went to the basement and it was still empty. He walked to the basement's cellar door and dipped down to lock the safety hatch, but just as he was about to grab it, the door was pulled open.

It was Alex, and he stood there, watching Joshua’s kneeling form.


	3. Don't Go

Alex turned on the stairs to leave, and Joshua bounced up, reaching out and snagging the man by his army coat’s sleeve.

“Wait, don't go.” Joshua got Alex to look back at him, and the man just shook his head, jaw tight.

“I’m sorry,” the adult brunette replied, looking back to the stairs that trailed to the night outside. Joshua bit his cheek.

“Don’t be sorry, just… My dad is asleep, so he wouldn’t know if you slept here. I know you don’t have anywhere to go, or sleep- I don’t know why everyone treats you like… shit… but, I think it’d be good,” Joshua spoke softly, glancing back to the basement steps that went up into the house. Alex didn’t pull his arm away, because he seemed conflicted. He wanted to stay, but it was wrong so he shouldn’t, but he still didn’t want to sleep in the cemetery. If he were to be caught, though, it’d ruin his life. A teenager sneaking a grown man into their house at night…

Alex managed to pull himself away at this thought, and Joshua looked back to him and huffed.

“A shower, do you want a shower? There’s one in my dad’s hunting room, and he’s asleep so he won’t know. I can even get you some clean clothes,” the teen said.

Alex still didn’t leave, but it took a long moment for him to look back at Joshua.

“Why would you want to help me?” he asked in his smooth worn voice, and Joshua looked into his gray-brown eyes.

“I just… want to,” the teen replied softly, and Alex’s eyes looked past him to the rest of the basement; to the loud generator and the old, plain walls.

“...It’s really illegal to go into someone’s house at night, especially on a kid’s accord,” Alex replied softly, and Joshua scoffed. The teen opened his mouth to argue, but Alex stopped him when he spoke again. “But if you really insist, I’ll do it- this one time. Are you sure you can trust a stranger, though?”

Joshua nodded quickly in response and Alex shook his head lightly. The man sighed heavily and looked back to Joshua, looked to his brown orbs.

“What if I turn out to be a murderer? And I kill your family?”

“You aren’t, I can tell. You’re just some guy who can’t find a good excuse as to why he can’t come in.” Joshua smiled smugly, and Alex gave him a look.

“I can give plenty of good excuses, but you’re probably a really stubborn kid. ...Where is the shower?” Alex asked reluctantly, knowing that he was a poor human for accepting the kid’s offer. Joshua was just more than happy, and he turned from the man to go deeper into the basement, going passed the little archway near the stairs and turning left to where the hunting room was. He glanced back to make sure Alex was following him, and he was; at a very big distance, walking slowly.

“Come on, it’s in here.” Joshua waved to Alex for him to be quicker, but the man kept his pace because he was having second thoughts. Joshua sighed and gave a light roll of his eyes that Alex noticed and gave a roll of his own eyes in return.

Joshua pushed open the hunting room door after turning the unique handle, and Alex followed him inside.

The hunting room was clean, but years of hunting had given it old blood stains near the chopping counter and on some of the inner shower. Alex either knew they were just stains or didn’t care, because he walked up to the shower and shuffled off his coat until it slid down his arms and fell to the floor. Joshua watched the man, watched as the tendons shifted in his forearms when he reached down to his pants to shuffle with his belt buckle. Then his movements paused, and Joshua looked to Alex’s face, those pale brown eyes already on him.

“...I won’t steal anything, but… do you mind?” Alex’s voice wasn’t angry or annoyed, just soft, because he didn’t really have a right to ask for things when Joshua was already being this kind.

Joshua understood after a moment, though, and looked to the floor when a blush crept up to his cheeks, and he nodded. “Yeah, haha… I’ll go and get a towel and another pair of clothes,” he replied and looked back to Alex’s face, the handsome man still watching him.

He shook his head. “No, thank you. I wouldn’t want to borrow clothes, I’ll… just take the towel to dry,” he said in his soft tone of voice. Joshua didn’t particularly like that answer, though, and he cleared his throat.

“I can wash your clothes for you while you shower. Then you can just use the towel until your clothes dry.” Joshua put his hands in his pockets, tilting his head slightly while he waited for an answer.

Alex didn’t want to be there more than he had to, but it was an appealing thought. “...Okay. I’m leaving after that.”

Josh had to wait on the other side of the hunting room door for Alex to pass him his clothes. Once the door peeked open and Alex’s calloused hand reached out with his clothes, Joshua took the bundle and left the area to a different part of the basement where the washer and dryer were. He dropped the clothes inside and poured in the soap and fabric softener, closed the lid and pressed START.

Then he left upstairs to his bedroom so that he could grab one of his towels from his laundry basket. He snagged up the white towel and walked out of his room, tepped down the stairs to the first floor so that he could go back to the basement. Once he was down the stairs, he trailed to the hunting room and knocked on the door.

“Alex, I have a towel,” he called lightly so that his voice would stay in the basement, and he waited at the door for it to open.

It did open eventually, and Alex’s hand reached out again, dripping wet. Joshua held out the towel to the man and their skin brushed each other when he grabbed the towel. Joshua could feel immediately that Alex’s flesh was cold, and he kicked himself again. He had forgotten that the hunting room’s shower only ran cold water.

“Um, is the shower okay? Are you freezing or anything? I’m sorry,” Joshua let the towel be taken, and he peeked inside when the door didn’t shut immediately, catching the sight of flesh behind the door.

“It’s okay, it’s relaxing,” Alex replied from behind the door and after a small moment, it was shut again. Joshua left to the washer and dryer and sat on the floor to wait for the clothes to finish washing.

Alex’s shower took long enough for Joshua to put the clothes in the dryer, and a few minutes after Joshua started the machine, Alex stepped out of the hunting room with the towel wrapped around his waist. He looked even better.

His body was covered in quick dripping water, droplets that trailed down a chest of light muscles and down further to abs and a naval that had a trail of hair under it dipping further down into the towel to whatever alluring sin was hiding there.

His limbs were thin, as was his body from the lack of food in it, and his waist was straight, but because of his lack of weight, there were dips that gave him a slight curve in his waist above the towel. Joshua’s towel.

Joshua broke his own daze so that Alex wouldn’t notice his stares, and the teen gave a slight wave from where he stood near the dryer.

“How was the uh.. Shower?” he asked, managing a smile that was still nervous because of the sight of his visitor. Alex again, either didn’t notice or didn’t care, because he just wiped a hand down his wet face to swipe away droplets. Then he ran his hand through his clean, soaked hair that hung around his face in a little crown.

“It was nice, thank you,” Alex walked to Joshua and the old machines, and he motioned to the teen. “They aren’t done yet, I suppose?” The dryer was old, so was the washer, but the dryer was the only one still on, and it was obvious because it was shaking hard against the floor. Joshua’s smile turned meek.

“Ah, no. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Thank you.”

The two stood like that for a long moment, awkward as they listened to the obnoxiously loud dryer. Then after an even longer moment, Joshua noticed that Alex’s jaw was clenched, his lips pressed tightly together. The hair on his arms was standing up with goosebumps.

“Are you cold?” Joshua asked. Alex looked at him from the dryer and gave a light shrug.

“It’s okay- you did say it was chilly in here.” He huffed a laugh that made Joshua smile, because it was new.

“I um… I know you probably won’t, but you can wait in my bedroom until your clothes are done. I can-”

“No, thank you.”

“...I can bring your clothes to you when they’re done.” Joshua continued, and Alex’s eyes got their usual narrowed look back.

“This is enough, thank you.”

Alex leaned against the still washer, and Joshua sat on the floor until the dryer was done. Almost an hour later, the dryer gave a loud beep and Joshua got the clothes out, handed them to Alex who took them to the hunting room and dressed. Then he gave the damp towel to Joshua and left, and Joshua carried the towel with him to his room after bolting the cellar door’s safety hatch.

The teen sat on his bed, held the towel as a ball in his lap. It was damp and was getting his lap wet, but he didn’t mind it; just sat looking at the floor while holding it.

Then he dipped his head down over it and snuck a sniff of it, and it smelled like fresh soap and water.

l.l

In the morning, Adam was talking to Alex in the dining room, and Joshua was listening through the door.

“You look cleaner, got a shower somewhere?” Adam’s voice sounded.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Alright, well, here’s your pay for the week. Once you finish off this room, I’ll give you the rest of your payment for today.”

There was silence, and then Adam spoke again.

“You been saving up your money? You’d better not be wasting it, Son.”

“I’m not, thank you. I’ll start working now, if you don’t mind.” Alex’s voice sounded, and Joshua moved away from the doors when he heard his father’s footsteps. The teen hurried to sit on the couch in his mom’s sewing room, and Adam came out of the dining room just as Joshua sat down.

“Morning, Dad.” Joshua spoke up to his dad and Adam looked to him with his pale eyes.

“...Morning, Joshua. Find out when you’re going to start working, yet?”

Joshua laughed nervously, because he had forgotten, and he just rubbed his neck. “Aw, jeez, Dad, trying to get rid of me that easily?”

“If you aren’t going to work, go out and do something. You’re becoming a hermit.” Adam walked off, Joshua laughing after him.

“Uh, thanks, Dad! Lovely talk!” he called lightly. Then he rolled his eyes and plopped back into the couch. He didn’t like going out, because there was no one to hang out with besides Joey. Scarlet still stayed home all of the time, repainting old dolls, and Nora was already off to college because she was the oldest out of the kids.

He really just wanted to stay home and try to talk to Alex.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this chapter Nov 23, but for some reason it kept saying October, so here's the fixed one.

He decided to walk to Joey's house, but he found his friend outside along the way.

Joey was knelt at the side of the road near the junkyard, so Joshua went over to him. "Hey, Joe."

"Shh!" Joey held out a hand, motioned Joshua over. The brunette obeyed, walking to kneel beside him. He looked at what Joey was doing, and he sighed when he saw the box of matches on the ground.

"This is childish," Joshua muttered, watching as Joey stuck a firecracker unto an ant hole.

"It's fun. What are you out for?"

"My dad kicked me out for a bit."

"Oh. I have a great idea." Joey grabbed the matchbox and opened it to pull out a stick. Joshua just looked at him to wait for the words to continue. He didn't, though, as he tried scratching the match to life; it was a dead one, and each way he tried didn't work. He tossed it aside to get another.

"Well, tell me your idea," Joshua sighed and leaned closer to Joey to get his attention. Joey glanced at him before rolling his eyes and flicking the new match. Once it burst into a flame, he lit the cracker and the two stood, walked away some. Joey looked at Joshua and motioned.

"Come on. It's in the  _cemetery_."

Joshua followed his friend, a loud row of  _pops_  behind them. It didn't take long to get to the cemetery, since everyone knew where it was and how to get to it. They entered through the parking lot and Joshua just walked after Joey.

The cemetery was far less scary in the summer, but it still held all the bodies of their ancestors, and the thought of it was still always unnerving: given that Joshua wasn't particularly fond of ghosts or myths. He put his hands in his pockets and looked to Joey.

"...What are we doing?" He asked. Joey shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh nothing, I just happen to know where a certain homeless guy stays. You wanna see it, don't you?" The taller brunette looked at Joshua, smirked and dipped over to bump him with his shoulder. "Hmm?"

"...How do you know where he stays?" Joshua asked, looking ahead, because he didn't want Joey to see his excitement. Was he really going to see where he was staying? It wasn't a lie that he stayed in the cemetery, but would it be rude to look without permission?

"My dad told me, come on." Joey broke into a sprint and Joshua ran after, through the big gates. "Race ya!" Joey called and Joshua scoffed.

"I don't know where it is!"

"I know!" Joey laughed, and Joshua rolled his eyes, getting beside Joey to bump him off balance.

They reached it. It was further in the cemetery, in a grave spot so random that no one could never find it. Joey knew though, because he had played in the cemetery for most his childhood and acquired a knack for knowing its every  _crevice_. Joshua didn't like ghosts, so he didn't play with him here too often.

It was sad. There was a thin pillow on the dirt floor, a small box of belongings beside it, and a flashlight, an oddly shaped one with the lens bent for easier vision. That was all. There wasn't anything else.

Joey hopped up onto a grave, smiled smugly at Joshua.

"See? Told you he was homeless. He doesn't even have a blanket," he laughed.

Joshua breathed through his nose and I knelt beside the box, peered over it to peek inside. There was a folding toothbrush in a plastic, cylinder case, but no tooth paste, a quarter empty bottle of water, a neat combat knife, and a  _journal_. A journal. Had Joey not looked in the box? He would have stolen the stuff in no time.

Joshua did. He reached inside, took the journal into his grasp.

He glanced back, to Joey, to see if he was looking, but he wasn't and his gaze was on some carved writing in the cement wall beside him.

Joshua lifted his shirt up, tucked the journal into his pants' waistband against his stomach. It was leather, and it stuck to his skin in the summer heat that gathered him a damp stomach from racing.

He dropped his shirt over it and stood from the box, reached up to stretch, craning his back.

Joey made a noise and Joshua glanced over. He was still looking at the inscription, probably just finishing his read. He looked to Joshua and smiled.

"Wanna vandalize his stuff?" He asked, hopping down. Joshua blinked and scoffed, dropped his hands to his lap.

"No! Who does that?"

"Me. Hopefully you." Joshua's smile grew to a mischievous grin and he shuffled over to sit next to Joshua. "Come on, I'll light up his pillow and you like, piss on his stuff. Or we can swap," he leaned against Joshua's side, grinning to him, his face too close for comfort. His elbow was jabbing close to Joshua's stomach, and he had he had to fix it before Joey found the book.

"Just do it, I'll… dump out his water," Joshua said, and Joey laughed  _hard_.

"Dude, don't be a pussy! Come on, help me out. Bros before homeless guys."

"That doesn't even rhyme, Joseph."

Joey's face flushed, because he hated his full name being called out, especially by Joshua, and he pushed off of the brunette to fume. "You know what?" Joey pulled his matchbox from his pocket, slid it open to grab a stick and strike it into a flame. Joshua sighed and shook his head.

"Joey, this is so  _childish_ , let's just go look at porn magazines, or sneak into your dad's study!"

Joey flicked the match into the box, and Joshua gawked. The box was cardboard, and it immediately went into flames. Then there was another match struck, and it was flicked onto the pillow.

The bottle in the box melted and  _popped_  when a hole melted into it, the water inside splashing at it's sudden release.

It wasn't water, though, and the fire spread more, engulfing the whole box into a smoldering black mess, and crawling to the pillow, soaking it, too, in flames.

Joey laughed. "What was that, fucking  _vodka_? Damn, we should have tasted it first!"

"Joey, you're crazy! We're going to get into  _so much trouble_  for this! Help me out the fire out, hurry!" Joshua backed away from the fire, grabbed dirt to throw at the flames. Joey still only laughed for a moment before sighing and glancing at Joshua.

Joshua was fear stricken. The fire was big. Not too big, but it was too big to get out with dirt, and that was all that the cemetery had. Joey watched Joshua throw dirt at the fire, crawling backwards away from it.

The taller brunette sighed again and rolled his eyes. "It's not the end of the world, hold on." He stood from the fire and  _left_.

Joshua stood up to start kicking dirt over the fire, and a few moments later, Joey came back with a running water hose.

He started spraying the fire and Joshua watched as it died down. Then Joey bent the hose into a kink to stop the flow, and Joshua huffed and looked at him.

"What is your problem? What if we get in trouble for this?" Joshua scoffed, shaking his head. His dad is the police chief, and Joey's the mayor. If they got in trouble for this, they were  _dead_.

"Nothing. We'd only get in trouble if you tell, and you won't, because we're friends who were having fun," Joey motioned for Joshua. "Come on, let's get out of here."

They followed the water hose out into the parking lot, where Joey shut off the valve and dropped the hose next to it. They didn't talk to each other, and Joshua followed Joey to the road before telling him he needed to go home, and he turned down the pavement, and Joey went home.

When Joshua opened the front door, he met his mom and Alex. The two stood there, probably talking to one another, but they stopped when Joshua disrupted them. Lillian looked at him and smiled, small.

"Joshua, where were you?" She reached out to let Joshua's head and the teen tried his hardest to keep his gaze from Alex.

Joshua cleared his throat. "I was out with Joey, what are you doing?" He smiled to his mother to ward off any worry.

She glanced to Alex with her eyes and looked back to Joshua. "I was just walking out the hand, w…" she furrowed her eyebrows and glanced around. "Do you smell smoke?"

"Mrs. Shepard, I need to get going," Alex spoke up and Lilith nodded without looking at him.

"Alright. Come on Joshua, you look sweaty." She placed a hand on Joshua's shoulder and led him away from the door, further into the house. Joshua glanced back to Alex but the man was already leaving, his back to them as theirs were to him.

Once Alex shut the door after leaving, Lillian looked to Joshua. "Your father had to help Wheeler, so go on and get a bath and we'll find something to do."

Joshua nodded and left her for the stairs, walking up and down the hallway to his bedroom to grab a change of clothes, and a towel.

Was Alex going home? Would he know that Joshua ruined his sleeping place?

"Dammit, Joey," the teen sighed heavily as he went for a bath, locking himself in the bathroom through the master bedroom.

He still wasn't happy with the fact that the bathroom was in his parents' room, because it made it awkward when needing to use the restroom in the middle of the night. As far as he knew, there were no advantages of living in this house.

Putting his things on the sink, he locked the bathroom door and pulled his shirt off, dropping it into the clothes basket. Looking in the mirror, he could see the smudged dirt on his right cheek, his clammy skin. He frowned and shook his head.

"'Can't believe it," he grumbled and shook his head after another moment. He looked at his eyes, brown and wide. His mom used to tell him that when he was a baby, he was always wide-eyed, like he was searching for something in the world, something he couldn't grasp. She said that his wide eyes are what gave him his capability with photography: he just thought it was because he liked still pictures; things frozen in time so that he can analyze what was in their thoughts.

He dropped his gaze down his thin body, his chest bones showing in the middle, little ripples of dips. He was always small, and his waist pinched in some, making him "look girly", as Joey would say. It wasn't his fault, though; he ate a shit tone sometimes but it didn't do anything.

The journal. The book was still in his pants waistband, protected from the fire. Joshua grabbed it to pull it out, the covers warm from his body heat; he turned to the bathtub and quickly turned the knobs to get some water going before sitting against the tub's rim to look at the book.

The cover was dark brown, like the rest of it. There were no imprints on it, just the rough feeling of the leather. It was worn, very worn and battered. The corners were rubbing off, and the spine was becoming loose. Joshua glanced to the bathroom door, watched it for a moment, before looking back to the book and licking his lips. He pulled open the cover.

The paper inside was old and fuzzy, felt like it had also had a rough few years. The pages were yellow, and as Joshua flipped through the book, it became apparent that some had stains; light, dark, darker.

Joshua went back to the first page, and he made a little smile. There, in the upper left corner on the page, was  _Alex Shepherd_. It was written smoothly, with light bumps from whatever pen was used. Joshua stared at the name for a time, running his fingers over it. The letters were scrawled deeply into the paper, and he could feel each individual one.

He gripped the page in the corner, to flip it, but he couldn't bring himself to. He couldn't bring himself to read Alex's secrets.

"..."

He shut the book, dropping his head back and sighing. He had already destroyed Alex Shepherd's home, what more was he hoping to achieve? Stealing, burning away his bed, sneaking a look at his diary… He would go to Hell, now.

But he at least wanted to leave some respect with Alex, so he shut the book tight and pushed off of the bath tub to put it on the sink. Then he turned back to the porcelain and stripped from his pants and boxers when he saw that the water was full enough.

He hated baths. If you asked him, showers were the way to go, but their house just had a bathtub, and he was stuck with that. The reason why he liked Joey's house was only the fact that there were two bathrooms, and that they both came with showers. Staying the night there was mayhem, and the showers always helped balance it all out.

Joshua turned the water off and stepped inside, easing himself into the colder water. It was summer, and that was torture enough. He didn't like heat.

What sort of person was Alex Shepherd? Cold or hot? Summer or winter? Fall or Spring?

Alex… What sort of person  _was_  he?

The bath was longer than Josh's liking, because he had dirt under his nails from the fire, and he had to rinse the water a few times just to feel clean. When he was done, he dressed in his new clothes; some light shorts and a dark shirt, some black ankle booties, and then he took the journal with him to his bedroom, hiding it under his mattress. His mom was waiting for him downstairs, so he stepped down and went to find her.

"Mom?" He called out.

"I'm through the dining room!" Her voice travelled some, so Joshua headed for the dining room. She was probably in her sewing room, which meant that they day was probably going to be spent buying some more fabric.

He went through the dining room doors and paused, because the work Alex had done was noticeable. The floor was smooth all the way around, in contrast of its curling and breaking from the house's age. Alex had replaced damaged planks with new ones and managed to straighten the others. The floor really did look new again.

"Joshua, come on," Lillith sounded, and Joshua glanced over. She had opened the other door and peeked in at him, and he glanced around the dining room just a moment more before going to his mother.

In the car, Joshua knew that his mom wouldn't answer any questions he had about Alex, and that's why he knew that there was something off about the whole ordeal; so he would question the house and let her do the rest.

Sitting in the passenger seat, Joshua crossed a leg over his knee, sitting back with his seat belt pinning him. He waited until they were about two minutes into driving, before he glanced over to his mother.

"Mom, the house is looking nicer," he said, watching her soft features, her curly brown hair that fell from her bun into her face. She pressed her lips together and nodded.

"It is, isn't it?"

"Yeah, the kitchen looks amazing, huh? The floor…" Joshua clicked his tongue and watched his mom's lips curl some, into a smile.

"Yes, Joshua," she spoke, keeping her eyes on the road, though they looked to be somewhere else. Looking at Lillith always made you feel like you weren't there, like she couldn't see you. Joshua wasn't sure of it was always like that, or if he just hadn't noticed when it became like that.

Since his mother seemed to be lightening up, he waved a hand into the air for more enthusiasm. "And the dining room! It looks  _great_! I mean, the house actually looks  _alive_  now!" he laughed, and it made Lillith break a smile.

"Yes. Especially the garden."

" _Especially_  the garden! That guy sure knows his stuff, huh? Makes you wonder where he came from."

"Well, he did learn from the best," Lillith giggled some before pausing and lowering her eyes. She gripped the steering wheel tighter and gave a deep exhale.

"...Don't tell your father," she said quietly and Joshua nodded slowly, eyebrows knit together. He thought she was going to say more, but the conversation ended there, making the rest of the drive silent and awkward.

Was she referring to herself? Had she taught Alex?

When they got to the cloth shop, Joshua decided to stay in the car. Lillith got out and reached for her purse that had sat between her and her son, and Joshua watched the bag as she took it.

Made herself, it was dark and made of leather with a nice layer of woven string over it, like a net.

Joshua glanced up to his mother and found her empty gaze on him, staring. He held her gaze for a moment before she turned from the car and gripped the door.

Usually, when she left him in the car, she would tell him to lock the doors, no matter how old he was. This time, though, she shut the door without any words and walked up to the shop. Joshua let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, and he shook his head.

What was everyone's problem? What was so wrong with Alex Shephard that he was  _homeless_  in a town where everyone helped each other?

Lillith's purse. Joshua would get his mother's purse, and he would find out what  _she_ was hiding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are the chapters too short? I'm using a new application, and it's throwing me off.


	5. Chapter Five: Pinkie Swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The diary entries are not my own, they are in fact, from the Silent Hill Homecoming website. I take no credit for the entries, and if you would like to read them yourselves, you can at:
> 
> http://silenthill.wikia.com/wiki/Alex_Shepherd%27s_Diary
> 
> I did tweak entry August 5, for storyline purposes.

The ride back home wasn’t as deadly as the ride to the shop. The tension had died and the car was lighter with the windows cracked. There was still no conversing, though.

Lillith parked in front of the garage and the two got out.

Joshua followed Lillith as she walked up to the house, so that he could keep an eye on her purse, but there was a firm hand on his shoulder that made him stop in his tracks and glance back.

It was Adam, his face stern as ever, and Joshua swallowed. He managed a smile, though, despite.

“Hey, Dad, what’s up?” he asked his father, glancing back to his mother with his eyes. She stepped into the house, disappearing from his sight. It was a devastation that had his smile faltering. He looked back to his father.

Adam let out a breath through his nose.

“Joshua, come with me,” he said and let go of Joshua’s shoulder. He started walking back, to where his police car was, and Joshua swallowed again, hard, before following after.

“What’s going on, Dad?” he asked lightly, forcing a little laugh to sound unconcerned. It wasn’t as convincing as he wanted, though, and Adam walked around the car to the driver’s side.

“Get in,” he said before opening the door and getting in himself, and Joshua sighed before going in after.

As soon as Joshua shut the door, the car started rolling. Adam started driving, and the car tension was back. It was suffocating.

Joshua glanced over to his father, but he didn’t look at him, kept his eyes on the road like Lillith, but his eyes were never empty. They were always _full_ with anger, or disappointment, or… anger. Joshua sighed and slouched in  his seat.

“Dad, I-”

“Have you been talking to that worker?”

“What? Dad, come on-”

Adam looked at Joshua with his fiery eyes, and Joshua shut his mouth. He gave a light shake of his head.

“...No, I haven’t.”

Adam watched Joshua for a long moment before turning his gaze back to the road.

“Why?” Joshua sat upright in his seat some. Adam didn’t look at him.

“Have you been going anywhere near him?” His father asked, and Joshua shook his head again.

“No- Dad, _why_?”

“Because you were told not to!” Adam looked at Joshua again and the teenager pressed his lips together tight. Adam sighed and gave a light shake of his head, looking back to the road.

“Because you were told not to. You have to understand, Joshua.” He glanced back to Joshua.

“Do you understand?” he asked.

Josh gave a tiny nod. “Yes, Sir.”

The drive was a small one, down just a few blocks, before a small break at the quick stop for some drinks, and then they went right back home. Joshua took his 32oz of Coke to his bedroom, where he shut himself inside.

His alarm clock read 5:30 p.m., and he put his drink in front of it to mark out the time. He sat on his bed and crossed a leg under him, putting his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand.

What a filling day. First he gets into shit with Joey down at the cemetery, and then he makes his mom upset, and then he gets a lecture from his dad. He hated _all_ of those.

He groaned and flopped over to lay on his side on his bed, his head falling onto his pillow. Difficult days.

Why was it so hard to live in this town? Why did it feel like there were _secrets_? Everyone had deceit in their eyes, and it made it all so hard. Who could he talk to? Who could he trust? Even Joey seemed to harbor secrets from Joshua. It was like the whole town was against him. It was like he was the only one left out. Why, though? Why did no one trust him?

l.l

It was ruined. The dirt was soaked, turned into a murk of mud. The wet cardboard box was a messy flop drowning in the dark slosh of ruined dirt flooring, and even his toothbrush was ruined. The plastic was melted and burnt and the bristols were gone, cooked into ash.

His pillow was also ruined, burned like the rest and soaked like the rest, and his survival knife was on the ground, still alive because it was steel, but still harmed. The handle had scorch marks on its rough leather, and the steel had rainbow coloring from the intense heat that had scolded it.

The only thing missing was his diary.

Alex Shephard dropped down to his knees, his pants squishing into the mud with his weight. He reached a hand out to his belongings, grabbed the wet cardboard and picked it up. No diary. He dropped it again and sifted through his other ruined things. He still didn’t see his diary, but he did find his water bottle, soldered and melted, and he dropped his head down and sighed.

“Dammit. _Dammit_.”

l.l

Joshua yawned and sat up in bed, reaching up to rub his eyes. He blinked and grabbed his soda, moving the cup aside and looking at the time. It was 8:36, meaning he had fallen asleep.

He groaned and dragged a hand down his face. “Dangit.”

He had missed dinner, and since he was a light sleeper, it meant that his parents hadn’t bothered on waking him up. Had he really upset them that much?

The teenager took a sip of his coke and grimaced, coughing and setting it aside, behind his clock. It was watered down. Hopefully dinner had leftovers, because his mom was a good cook, and he felt bad for being left out.

He stood up and walked out of his room, so that he could go to the kitchen for some water and to see if there were in fact, leftovers.

The house was quiet, so his parents either weren’t home or were already in bed. Regardless of what it was, Joshua still made sure to be quiet going down the stairs, so that he wouldn’t get a lecture if they actually were home and asleep.

Down the stairs, there was something that caught Joshua’s eye. A dark smudge on the floor just before the book room.

Joshua knelt down to look closer at it, but he still couldn’t tell what it was, and he didn’t want to smell or touch it. He stood back up and shrugged it off, turning down the small hallway to the back rooms so that he could go to the kitchen, but just as he passed the basement door, he stopped again.

Taking a step back, he looked at it.

The door was open a crack.

He looked back down the hallway, just in time to see _Alex Shephard_ coming out of the sewing room. His clothes were covered in mud, and Joshua was frozen at the door.

Alex hadn’t noticed him yet. He was shutting the door behind him. The “unnoticed” was short lived, because just as soon as the man shut the door and turned again, he saw Joshua. He looked angry. His eyebrows were knit together, his lips pursed, face and body filthy with sweat and dirt.

The smudge must have been from him, whenever he was doing who knows what.

Joshua almost took a step back, away from Alex, but the man pointed a dirt stained finger at him, and the teen paused again.

He breathed deep in hesitation.

“...I’m sorry,” he said, bringing his hands together in front of him to fumble with his fingers. Alex dropped his hand back down to his side.

“Where is it?” His voice was low, nothing more than a whisper, and it only was because of how angry he was. He was fueling.

Joshua gave a little nod to the stairs. “It’s um… in my room.”

“Get it.”

“...Okay.”

Joshua turned fast and went back up the stairs, skipping the more creaky steps so that he could hurry and be quiet. When he reached his bedroom, he went to his bed and dug under his mattress for the journal. His fingers brushed the thick leather and he gripped it, pulling it out. Then he clutched it in both hands and left his room again, skipping steps to get downstairs quicker.

Alex was gone from the hallway, but the basement door was shut this time. Joshua walked to it and pulled the door open before shutting it again once inside, where he stepped down the stairs.

He kept his head low, because he was ashamed about the whole ordeal of he and Joey’s “fun” at the cemetery, and because Alex knew it was him.

When Joshua reached the bottom of the stairs, Alex was at the back door, looking like a silhouette in the darkness. The teenager made his way to Alex, and then he held out the book, keeping his gaze low.

“...I tried stopping it. This was all I saved,” he murmured quietly when Alex didn’t take the book right away.

When he did reach out for it, his long fingers brushed against Joshua’s, and the teen lowered his gaze more.

Alex took the journal from Joshua’s grip and clutched it tight in his hand, at his side.

“I didn't read any of it, I promise.” Joshua looked up but averted his gaze again before he could catch Alex’s eyes.

Alex was quiet for a long moment before he gave an exhale.

“I’ve never understood children and the wreckage they cause,” he mumbled. Joshua sighed and reached up to drag his hands down his face. His eyes burned a little from his long nap, but the stress of upsetting Alex made them burn even more.

“Let me make up for it. I have extra sleeping stuff, just let me get them. You won’t leave, right?”

“I’ve told you before: I don’t want your help. I came for my diary, and that’s all.” Alex shook his head after a little moment and gave a bitter breath. “I shouldn’t have come back here,” he whispered to himself, and Joshua wrapped his arms around his waist, overcome by guilt.

“If you leave, you’re gonna make me feel bad- just wait so I can get the stuff.”

“You should already feel bad.”

“I’ll feel _worse_.”

“There isn’t a reason why I should care about how you feel.”

“Alex!” Joshua gave a heavy huff and reached out to the man, grabbing his free arm. He dragged his hand down the soldier’s coat sleeve until he met his hand, and he pulled it up into the air, hooking his pinkie with the adult’s.

“Pinkie swear you’ll wait for me. You just did, so you have to wait,” Joshua dropped Alex’s hand and turned to go back up to his bedroom. He could hear the man scoff behind him.

l.l

Joshua had somehow gotten Alex to let him follow him to the cemetery. They snuck out the basement’s door into the backyard and out of the fence to the alley that led into the cemetery.

It was dark out, and Joshua hated the cemetery, so he stuck close to Alex, carrying the supplies he had grabbed in a big ball in his arms.

Alex led them passed where he had been sleeping before, almost half way across the cemetery, until they stopped in a spot where there were a couple's graves. They went into the crevice that protected the tombs from weather, and Alex reached out to take the things from Joshua.

“I got it,” Joshua said and moved away from Alex. The man exhaled through his nose and motioned.

“Fine. Just drop them anywhere.”

Joshua dropped the ball onto the floor near the back cement wall, where he dropped to his knees to start unravelling the things. He unrolled a sleeping bag and put a pillow at the top, dusting it down. Then he got the blanket and started folding it, so that he could put it at the foot of the makeshift bed. When he was done, he looked back at Alex.

“...Tada.”

Alex was already out of his shoes, and he was in the midst of taking off his coat. He paused when he heard Joshua, but he quickly dismissed him and finished, dropping his coat to the ground.

Joshua scoot away from the bed and Alex sat on it, sitting against the wall. He sighed and dropped his head back, face to the ceiling and eyes closed. Joshua watched him for a moment before sitting on his butt on the dirt floor.

“I’m sorry about your stuff. I didn’t mean for it to happen,” he said, watching Alex’s eyes open and look at him. The man kept his mouth shut, lips pressed together. He sighed.

“You didn’t do it, did you?”

“...No.”

“You’ve gone out of your way to help me a few times. ...Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me, just… be careful and stuff out here. The townspeople are usually so nice, I don’t…” Joshua furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. It seemed like the only thing he really knew anymore was that the town was going to shit, fast.

“Joshua, you said your name was, right?”

Joshua looked at Alex, who was looking down at his lap, at his diary. He ran a thumb lightly across the worn cover of it.

“U-um, yeah. Joshua.”

“You said you hadn’t read this, right?”

“Right. I just sort of, looked at the cover and stuff.”

“...Do you want to?” Alex asked and looked up from his diary, to Joshua’s wondering brown eyes.

“R...really?”

“No, not really.” Alex looked back down at the book and opened it, the cover staying open from being so stretched. “I’m gonna read it,” the man said and looked back to Joshua. The teenager’s cheeks were flushed from embarrassment, and Alex laughed. It made Joshua’s lips curl into a meek smile.

Alex cleared his throat and flipped to the first page of the diary.

“August 2nd. It’s hot here. Sweltering. I can barely breathe. But I guess that’s the point. War is hell, right?”

Joshua crawled to the sleeping bag to sit beside Alex on it, and the man tilted the book slightly away, away from Joshua’s view, but he kept reading.

“Why am I writing this? Some of the guys said it would be good for me to communicate with the outside world. Keeps up your morale and improves mental health. Sir, yes, sir. Besides, what else am I gonna do with my free time? Write home?

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you where I am. And I can’t tell you what I’m doing here either. All I can tell you is my name. PFC Alex Shepherd. And all you need to know is I’m a million miles from home in the middle of the nowhere, with thousands of people trying to kill me every day.

So how did I get here? Well, I guess I should probably explain.”

“...So you did go to war?”

“Save your questions ‘till the end.”

Joshua crossed his legs on the sleeping bag, scooting just a little closer to Alex, who blocked his view of the book by bending the cover up as a barrier.

“August 4th. Went on patrol today. That’s pretty much what we do every day. I’d give you the details but A: I’d get court-martialed and B: it’s not that interesting. It’s mostly driving around, keeping your eyes open, looking for bad guys. Most of the time, nothing happens. If something does, I’ll let you know.”

Joshua put his hands together in his lap, fidgeting with his fingers. He wanted to ask. He wanted to ask a lot of things. _When did this take place? Where is your family? Why are you here, being treated like_ nothing _?_ He didn’t though. He messed with his fingers, his eyes on Alex’s pants, so that he wouldn’t ask questions or peek at the book.

“I said I’d tell you how I got here. I guess there are a lot of reasons. They’re pretty much the same as everybody else's. Small town, not many choices. Military dad, military son. I’ll get to him later. Don’t have energy right now.

But I guess the main reason I joined up was I wanted to make a difference, do some good. I know it sounds cheesy, but who knows? Maybe I’ll learn something about myself.

I’m not trying to be a badass or a hero or anything, I just want to do something that matters.”

Alex looked at Joshua. “There’s a lot, you may want to head back.”

“No, I’m… I don’t like the dark.”

Alex laughed, and Joshua blinked and flushed again.

“How old are you?” Alex asked.

“Seventeen,” Joshua muttered. He huffed and tossed a hand up. “I’m not afraid of the dark! I just don’t like the _cemetery_ when it’s _dark_. It’s normal!!”

Alex’s laugh became smaller, and he bent a leg, resting his arm on his knee. “You’re being serious?”

“Yes. Ugh, just finish your story,” Joshua flopped back against the wall and instantly regretted it when his spin racked against the cement, but he played it off and crossed his arms.

Alex laughed again, his nice laugh. “Okay. August 5th. Today it was so hot I thought my skin was gonna melt right off my body. Our tents have A/Cs, but the cool air never stays in. Still, when you go inside any of the mobile CPs, you stay there as long as you can whether you have any business there or not. It feels good.

I used to love the heat. In the summertime, I would spend every second I could at the beach. My town is on a lake and there were always tourists coming into town to go fishing or boating or whatever.

When I was in high school, I would sometimes work at the docks, filling gas to make some money. The girls who came there on vacation... Don’t even get me started talking about girls while I’m stuck out here.

I guess that’s kind of the point. One of the reasons I left. Things weren’t always so great back there. They weren’t always like the summertime. In fact, most of the time, things sucked.”

Alex continued.

“August 9th. I saw a guy’s legs get blown off today. He was walking patrol alongside an APC when an anti-personnel mine went off on the side of the road. The top half of his body did a backflip and landed right in front of me. Without thinking, I wrapped a tourniquet around each bloody stump and began to give him CPR. I was at it for an hour before the medics showed up. Then I went around the corner and threw up for twenty minutes.

August 10th. I grew up in a small town. I left because I wanted to make a difference and the people around me were too blind to see that I could. I don't care if I ever go back there, but I'd like the people I do care about to know that in a bad situation I did everything I could to make it better. I'd want them to be proud of me…”

He trailed off, and Joshua looked up at him, to see his eyes. The brown-gray orbs were still in his book, and his mouth was shut. It looked like he was done for now.

Joshua pursed his lips and sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He looked at the ground before speaking.

“It is hard to make people proud of you. I’m sure whoever you’re talking about is,” he said.

Alex shook his head. “They aren’t, trust me.” He shut his book and put it beside him, on the ground. Then he paused for a moment before looking at Joshua. The teenager looked at him, and he held his book out to the younger brunette.

“...It would be safer with you. You can’t open it, ever.”

Joshua slowly took the book, his eyebrows furrowed and his face confused. Then Alex held up a pinkie, and Joshua pressed his lips together.

“Promise.”

Joshua reached out with his other hand and linked their pinkies together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This shit is still not posting on the right date, sorry guys. Updates are supposed to be Shameful Thursdays, but it's stuck on October 11th -_-


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a day late, sorry. Thursday was really busy.

****"You should head back now; here,” Alex moved from the sleeping bag to his coat, where he dug inside the pockets. He pulled out the bent flashlight that Joshua had seen before, and he held it out to the teenager.

Joshua took it and looked it over. The plastic had melted on one part, but it was unscathed nonetheless.

The teenager looked at Alex and smiled, standing up.

“I can bring you a lantern next time, or something,” he said.

Alex shook his head.

“There won't be a next time. If you get caught here, I'll have hell to pay. I've paid enough.”

Joshua's smile slipped away and he frowned. “You talk in riddles just like everyone else in town. What is such a big deal?” He put a hand on his hip, and Alex rolled his eyes, adjusting to lay inside the sleeping bag.

“If no one else tells you, I won't tell you. Go home, Joshua.”

Alex rolled in the bag to face the wall, and Joshua's frown deepened.

_ “Well, he did learn from the best,” _ he remembered his mom saying. What was the big fucking deal?

“Did you learn gardening from my mom?”

“If I'm going to have to chase you out of here, you're fucked.”

“...I just… I want to know why everyone hates you. It's like you're a convict or something, but you're…  _ nice _ . So nice.”

Alex was silent.

“I want to help you, Alex. What's  _ wrong _ ?” Joshua dropped his hand to his side, but Alex didn't speak. He didn't even shift.

“...Fine.”

Joshua turned from Alex like a spurned child, and he started walking to the entryway. When he was out of the area, another grave room away, he heard Alex.

“If you can figure out enough on your own, I'll help you,” the man sounded, and Joshua paused in the outdoors.

_ Find enough on my own… _ He sighed to himself and started walking again, turning on the flashlight that was given to him.

Fine.

l.l

He put the diary under his mattress, far enough that he could barely reach it. He put the flashlight under his pillow, so that he could access it without it being obvious.

And then he climbed into bed so that he could be ready for tomorrow.

l.l

“Hey Mom, do you have any plans for today?” Joshua asked Lillith the next morning, who was washing dishes.

“No,” she said, not even looking at him.

He tapped the counter in thought.

“...Does Dad?”

“He told you the other day, Joshua; he's at the department with deputy Wheeler.”

“Oh, okay.”

Alex wasn't at the house today, so Joshua probably wouldn't be being watched.

He could look for her purse.

He looked at his mom, waiting to see if she would say anything else to him, but she kept her eyes on the dishes that she scrubbed. Joshua was virtually invisible.

He left the kitchen and decided that it was a good time to look for his mom's purse. If she was hiding anything, it was in there. He just had to find it.

“I'm a moody mom, where is my purse?” he whispered to himself as he walked to the staircase.

Maybe the bedroom? If my purse isn't there, maybe something else is.

Joshua walked up stairs, where he turned to go to his parents’ bedroom. If he got caught, he could pass it off as going to the restroom.

Once he entered the room, he started looking on the dressers and side tables, but there was nothing there. Inside the dresser, there were only clothes. In the closet, it was the same thing; suitcases and storage.

“Where does she keep her damn purse? It's just an accessory, for fuck's sake,” Josh mumbled to himself as he shut the closet door. He opened it again when he barely caught something in the corner of his eye.

It wasn't the purse; rather, a small box. It was folded shut, but the flaps were small, and left room to peek inside, where there was some kind of glint.

Joshua knelt and grabbed the box, pulling it to him from the floor's clutter to open it.

Inside, there were random knick knacks.

He grabbed a coin from inside and looked it over, eyebrows furrowed. It looked like a collector's coin, with some sort of symbol etched into it. On the back, it said 1986.

“We're in 2011,” Joshua scoffed and tossed the coin back into the box. Digging inside for anything else, he almost gave up until he got a papercut.

“Ow!” He looked at his finger and put it to his lips when blood bubbled up from a slit. He reached into the box with his other hand, and he pulled out a photograph.

It was a woman with an infant, in a seraph photograph. Her hair was long, and her expression soft with a small smile. Her eyes looked secretive, though. The baby was wrapped in a blanket and sleeping, in her arms.

Joshua flipped the photograph over to see if there was a name or date, but it was blank.

“...”

He stopped the bleeding of his finger and folded the photograph before slipping it into his pocket.

“Josh!”

It was Joey's voice.

Joshua silent cursed to himself and started folding the box back before jumping up and shutting the closet door. He rushed to the bathroom and shut himself inside, where he hurried to turn on the sink and start washing his hands.

Not more than a second later, Joey peeked into the bathroom.

“Hey dude, pack some clothes,” he said with a grin. Joshua looked at him through the sink's mirror.

“Why?”

“Your mom just said you could stay over.”

“What makes you think I'd want to after yesterday's act of terrorism?” Joshua asked flatly, turning off the sink and grabbing the hand rag to dry his hands.

Joey pushed the door open more and leaned against the doorway.

“I know you aren't bitching.”

“I'm not. I'm… procrastinating.”

“Well why the hell for?”

“Because I almost got busted!” Joshua turned to face Joey, scoffing. “My mom smelled smoke on me, and if it was my Dad I'd be  _ dead _ !”

Joey rolled his eyes and motioned. “Just come on, it'll be fun. I'll order some pizza and stuff.” He smiled and Joshua huffed through his nose.

It was too hard to tell Joey no. Not because he was convincing, but because he was adamant.

Joshua put the rag up and walked to Joey, who moved from the doorway to let him through. Joey followed Joshua as he walked to his room, and then he broke off to go to Joshua's closet, which he opened the door of to reach inside for a Dr. Pepper.

Joshua kept hot sodas in his closet for Joey, so that he wouldn't dig in his fridge, because it was becoming an annoying habit.

Joey cracked open a soda and watched Joshua as he packed some clothes into his backpack. The smaller teen glanced back at Joey.

“Do you still have spare toothbrushes?” he asked.

Joey nodded. “Yeah, just hurry up.” He drank from his soda and watched Joshua zip his bag, flinging it onto his back after. The teen then stepped into his sneakers before looking at Joey again.

“Are we walking?”

Joey snorted. “Yeah, always.”

Joshua sighed. “I hate walking,” he mumbled. He hated walking to Joey's house, because Joey usually walked through the cemetery. He had some sort of love for it, the soil. He had always been in love with plants and gardening, but he had an attraction to death, too.

Joey set the full soda can onto Joshua's dresser before following him out of the room, where they started descending the stairs.

Lillith wasn't anywhere in view, like always. She seemed to hide herself away for whatever reason.

The teenagers left the house and headed for Joey's, which was on Friedkin Rd. It was just a straight shot down Craven Ave., but Craven was a long road; a total of ten, maybe fifteen minutes by walking.

The streets were dead as always, because the town was more of a retirement place, which was another reason as to why Joshua didn't have many friends. The only kids that town had when he was younger were Joey, Scarlet, and Nora, but Nora is two years older than the other three.

“Hey Josh, watch out- I'm gonna get your legs,” Joey sounded from behind Joshua and the smaller blonde looked back. Joey was stomping after Joshua's feet, aiming for his heels, and the brunette laughed.

“Dude, knock it off,” Joshua quickened his pace to protect himself, and Joey widened his stomps.

The two would do that in the grocery store when they were younger, and it was what made it a rule that they couldn't hang out there together anymore.

Joey was just too rowdy.

After Joshua got stepped on a few times, and the two chased each other for a bit, they reached Joey's house on Friedkin without the cut through the cemetery.

“Is your dad home?” Joshua asked as they reached the front door, and Joey shook his head.

“No, he's out doing something for a bit. He'll be back later.” Joey opened the front door and Joshua stepped inside, the other brunette following and closing the door after.

Joshua sighed and glanced around.

The Bartlett home was expensive, a mansion. It looked nice, and it was filled with nice things. It was sort of annoying coming here.

“You said you're gonna order pizza, right?” Joshua asked as he started heading to the stairs, so that he could go to Joey's room.

“Yep.” Joey turned off to go to the home phone, leaving Joshua alone.

The house was too… nice to be comfortable alone. It was eerie. Once in his childhood, Joshua had gotten lost inside for a total of two hours until Mayor Bartlett found him.

Since Joshua came here so often when they were younger, he had gotten a few things down, such as Joey's room.

The brunette headed there, where he put his bag on the floor beside the door. Then he went to Joey's bed to sit on it, where he leaned forward on his knees, chin on a hand.

He hated staying the night here. Because Sam Bartlett was a drunk, it left alcohol around, and Joey was probably going to make Josh try some. He really just wanted to move on. Nora was already in college, and he thought he'd heard that Scarlett had a boyfriend from another town, but that could be false. He didn't want to dwell on… Joey. He didn't have a want to drink alcohol, or smoke cigarettes, or look at porn all of the time. If he had to dwell on anything, it would be Alex.

_ “If you can figure out enough on your own, I'll help you.” _

“I don't even know where to start,” Joshua grumbled to himself.

He needed his mom's purse. Maybe it had something that would strike Alex's 'fancy’. That, or the photograph. After he found out who was in it.

Joey walked into the room and pointed off when Joshua looked at him.

“Pizza’ll be about fifteen minutes,” he said, and Joshua nodded. Then Joey went to flop onto his back on his bed beside Joshua.

“You know what your dad's doing at the department?” he asked, pinching Joshua's side. The smaller brunette swatted Joey's hand away and shrugged.

“No, why?”

“Because I do. 'Guess there's someone broken out of Silent Hill Penitentiary, killed a few inmates before hitting the road.”

“Tch. How do  _ you _ know that?”

“My dad's the mayor, come on. I guess the guy's been spotted around town, so the sheriff's department is gonna set up some blockades soon, to keep him out.”

“If there were a convict on the run, they would already have a manhunt and shit,” Joshua rolled his eyes and flopped back too, looking up at the ceiling.

“It's Silent Hill, they hate publicity,” Joey said and flopped an arm onto Josh's stomach. The other brunette tossed the limb away and sighed.

“...If your dad's mayor and all, what's that homeless guy doing here?” Joshua asked and looked at Joey. Joey shrugged.

“Maybe it's a punishment. We don't know who he is.”

“He doesn't look capable of doing anything that bad. I mean, he looks like a war veteran,” Joshua murmured and sighed.

Joey scoffed at him. “Dude, veterans are crazy. Have you seen your dad?” He laughed at himself and Joshua just shook his head.

“I think you're wrong.”

Joey glanced at Joshua. “I'm never wrong, Josh. He's probably a freak. A freak that you should kick off your property. Seriously, why the hell is he always at your house?”

Joshua huffed and put his hands on his stomach, twisting his fingers together. “He's a hard worker. My dad pays him for it.”

Joey laughed again before shaking his head and breathing deep. “Damn, you're too good. I-”

The doorbell rang and Joey sat up. “Well that was quick! Wait here, I'll get the pizza.” He hopped up off of the bed and Joshua lay in wait until he couldn't hear Joey's footsteps anymore. Then he got up from the bed and walked to the bedroom door, pulling his shoes off and setting them beside his bag.

He knelt down beside his things and opened his bag, where he pulled out his night clothes and started folding them. He pulled open the bottom drawer of Joey's dresser and started putting his clothes in when he noticed that the drawer was stuck. He tried pulling it free a few times, but it didn't budge, only leaving access enough for him to just peek inside.

“The hell?”

He sighed and reached his thin arm inside, feeling the sides of the drawer to try and find what was trapping it. His fingers slid across something thin and metal, but as soon as he touched it, it clambered further into the side of the drawer, and he pulled his hand out.

He tried pulling the drawer open but it was still stuck.

“Push and pull, push and pull-” he pushed the drawer shut and tried pulling it back open, but now it was stuck shut. Joshua gawked and shook his head.

“No, no, no!” He tugged the drawer’s handles but it didn't move, just jiggled the dresser.

“Oh my god!” He sat back and brought a hand to his face, shaking his head once more. His clothes were stuck inside.

Footsteps sounded and Joey came inside, empty handed. He looked at Joshua and quirked an eyebrow.

“What's with the despair?”

Joshua looked up at him.

“Your drawer is stuck with my clothes inside- my pajamas!” he cried out and groaned loudly, dipping forward to hit his forehead on the dresser.

Joey laughed.

“Dude, that sucks. Want to borrow some of mine?”

“I don't  _ want _ to, but I guess I'll have to,” Joshua sighed and stood from the floor, Joey helping him by grabbing his arm and pulling.

Joshua looked Joey over when up and motioned. “Where's the pizza?” he asked in confusion.

Joey rolled his eyes. “It wasn't it. Guess we gotta wait.” He walked to the desk in the corner of his room and sat in the chair, wiggling his mouse to wake up his computer.

“Come on, let's watch some porn,” he said and looked back at Joshua with a grin. Joshua cringed because he hated porn, and he cleared his throat.

“Let's just do something else.”

“Tch are you kidding me? They have new videos up every Saturday, come here! Okay, okay, come- come here,” Joey waved Joshua over and the smaller brunette went with a sigh.

Joey pat Joshua's side, watching him with a mischievous smile.

“I'll let you pick the porn category, okay? Here, pull up a chair.”

Joshua blinked and stared at Joey, but he was already looking away, logging into his computer. Joshua silently cursed himself and grabbed the extra chair, pulling it over and sitting in it.

He didn't know porn categories! He didn't even like chicks! How was he supposed to pick a fucking genre?

“Okay, it's on,” Joey said after typing in pornhub.com. The webpage came to life and Joshua swallowed, looking over the content.

It was all straight. There were videos of blonde girls with big tits sucking dick, or bent over and getting fucked, there was one of a girl with a dildo-

“These are just the advertised ones, look here,” Joey brought up the category tab and pointed. Joshua unwittingly looked.

Straight, Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay- ...gay.

Hardcore, creampie, threesome, anal…

“Joey, I really don't want to pick,” Joshua murmured while looking at the things, most of which he didn't know the terms of. At his house, there was no internet, or porn mags, or even porn channels on their cable bill- his parents didn't want him ending up like Joey's free spirit, and Joshua was alright with that.

“Just pick one! Come on, what kind of girls are you into? Blonde, big tits, small tits, barely legal, MILF-”

“Joey, I just don't want to pick one,” Joshua said quietly and Joey looked at him. He was pink faced and his jaw was tight. He looked uncomfortable.

Joey rolled his eyes and looked back to the screen.

“Fine.”

He clicked a video with a pretty brunette girl giving an out of camera guy a blowjob, and Joshua averted his gaze so he wouldn't have to watch it.

“What's your favorite hair color?” Joey asked, and Joshua shrugged.

“I don't think it matters.”

“I like brunettes.”

“Cool.”

“What's your favorite body type? Mine's thin.”

“Muscular, I guess.”

“What about eyes?”

“I don't know, Joey.”

Joey leaned on his desk and looked at Joshua. The smaller brunette glanced at him, the other smiling. It was awkward, and before Joey could say anything, the doorbell rang.

Joey pushed off of the desk and reached into his pants pocket for his wallet. Pulling it out, he opened it and grabbed two twenties before holding it out to Joshua.

“I got it earlier, you can go this time. Since you don't want to watch this with me.”

Joshua rolled his eyes and took the money, getting up from his seat and leaving the room to go downstairs.

He went to the front door and pulled it open to the pizza man, who was big and blonde with a cap on. He held two pizza boxes, and Joshua motioned a hand.

“How much?”

“$36.40.”

Joshua looked at the bills he had and held them out.

“You can keep the change,” he said and took the pizzas, and the guy put the money in his bag.

“Thank you,” he replied before leaving, and Joshua shut the door. He opened the first box to look inside, and it was black olives and pepperoni- his favorite besides supreme.

Shutting the box again, he made his way back to the stairs. Before he even got up the first step though, he heard a noise. It was far off and quiet, distant, that he almost thought he had imagined it. The teen stepped up two stairs but paused when he heard it again.

A voice, there was no mistaking it.

Joshua put the pizzas on the side table beside the stairs before going back to the floor level and walking off, to search for the sound.

He didn't hear anything more. It was silent.

He ended up branching into a part of the mansion that he never went to much, but he didn't turn back. Something told him to keep going.

On a far wall, there was a giant statue of a woman mended into the wall, beautiful and ornate. Underneath her, there was what looked like a coin slot on a pillar beneath her dress.

Walking to it, Joshua ran his thumb over the slit, pondering. It looked too long for normal coins, even bigger than the quarter. The pillar top was golden, and just above the coin slot, there was a carved symbol. A circle with different things inside of it, like a type of image. It looked...familiar.

_ A collector's coin, with some sort of symbol etched into it. _

The coin from the house, of the year 1986- it was the same symbol.

Damn it! Why didn't Joshua keep it? He flicked it back like it was nothing!

The teenager cursed himself and stomped a foot into the air, silently yelling at himself.

“-op…”

Joshua stopped his fit and glanced around. It was the voice from before, somewhere close.

He left the coin pillar and walked by the doors that lined the giant room, listening to them and what they held beyond.

“-there you go…”

Joshua stopped in front of a room like the rest, and he put his ear to the door. He could hear what sounded like someone in pain, maybe even crying. There was another voice inside, but Joshua couldn't tell what they were saying.

He grabbed the doorknob and slowly turned it, easing the door open enough to peek inside.

He could see someone's flesh, but only that. He pushed the door open more.

Mayor Bartlett was thrusting into someone, fully clothed with empty liquor bottles on the desk and floor where he fucked someone bent over the top.

The flesh was theirs, their body nude with red marks over their back and their hands pinned behind them by a belt around their wrists.

Alex Shepherd. It was Alex, his face hidden from Joshua's view, but he was crying and groaning as mayor Bartlett raped him.

“Stop tensing so much!” Sam Bartlett struck Alex across the back with his fist.

Joshua was going to shut the door and leave, because he couldn't bare it anymore, but the door was shut for him by Joey, who stood behind him.

Joshua jumped and quickly turned to Joey, the bigger brunette holding the pizzas with his other hand. He didn't look bothered, just watched Joshua.

“Let's go before the pizzas get cold.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about all the missed updates, life things.

Joshua was nauseated and didn't eat any pizza. Joey was upset over it, but he didn't force it on his friend to eat.

They watched some horror movies on Joey's Netflix until the day was out, when it was eight o’clock p.m. They had stayed cooped in Joey's bedroom like every other time, and Joey dug in his dresser for some night clothes for Joshua.

“What do you want? Silk? Shorts? Boxers? A speedo?” He joked, but Joshua wasn't in the mood for it and just focused on getting out of his clothes, dropping them on the floor beside his bag.

“I don't care,” Joshua said, standing beside Joey and his bag in his boxers. Joey gave a careless shrug and held out some shorts and a T-shirt to Joshua.

“Alright, here.”

Joshua took the clothes and started pulling them on, Joey watching him. He was thin, with a girl's waist. His flesh was naturally pale, and his body hair was thin and light, almost blonde.

“How big is your dick?” Joey asked and Joshua scoffed, pulling on the shorts.

“I am _not_ measuring myself with you again.”

“Why not? Does that mean you're still smaller than me?”

“I don't care if I am, I'm ready for bed.” Joshua walked to Joey's bed and lay on it after dressing, and Joey rolled his eyes before shutting off the bedroom light and running to hop onto the bed.

l.l

Joshua woke up late. He knew because Joey wasn't in the bed with him.

Rolling on the mattress, Joshua turned from the wall and looked at the rest of the room, where he could see Joey folding clothes and putting them away.

“What time is it?” Joshua asked after a moment and Joey looked over.

“Almost noon.”

Joshua groaned and started getting up from bed.

“Would you get that spare toothbrush?” he asked, heading to the bathroom. Joey shrugged and put down a shirt he was folding to leave and get it.

Once inside the bathroom, Joshua went to the toilet. He pulled himself out of his pants and started peeing, his body feeling heavy and sore like he had slept wrong.

When he was done, he tucked himself back into his boxers and shorts and went to the sink, where he started washing his face. Joey came in when he was done, with a toothbrush, and Joshua took it to start brushing his teeth.

“I'll get your clothes,” Joey said and left the bathroom to get them. Joshua kept brushing his teeth, keeping his gaze from the mirror.

What exactly had he seen last night? Was that really...real? Alex wouldn't let something like that happen- he was funny, and dark, and serious...he wouldn't let that happen.

He spat in the sink and washed out his mouth before drying off with a rag.

Joey came back with Joshua's clothes folded and held them out.

Joshua stripped and changed, and when he pulled on his shirt, he could smell fresh soap.

“Did you wash my clothes?” he asked.

“Yeah, I always do. Why?”

Joshua just shook his head and shrugged. “Just asking.”

He put his hands in his pants pockets and then he felt it. The photograph he had put in his pocket- he had forgotten about it.

He quickly pulled it out but it was ruined. The picture was warped, ruined with mixed colors and white blotches.

“Whoa dude, what's that?”

“It _was_ an old photograph- damn!” Joshua dropped his head back and groaned heavily.

Joey stepped over to look at the photo.

“Huh. Why'd you even have it in the first place?”

“Because I _wanted_ to! Argh!”

“Alright, well I'll see you later. I gotta go with my dad to the Atrium,” Joey said and looked into the mirror, where he smiled to himself to look at his white teeth. Joshua sighed and nodded.

“Alright, see you later.” He left Joey's clothes on the sink and left the bathroom, crumpling the picture in his hold.

“Can't fucking believe this,” he muttered to himself as he shoved the photograph into his bag before zipping it shut and putting it on. Then he pulled his shoes on and looked back to the bathroom.

Joey was leaning against the bathroom's door frame, watching Joshua while running a hand through his hair to fix it up. He smiled and waved and Joshua did the same before leaving, leaving the mansion.

He wanted to go through the cemetery and check on Alex, but he didn't think he could bring himself to. So he walked right on home. He spared the cemetery a glance, but he didn't go inside.

When he got home though, just after stepping in the front door, he could hear his parents.

“Said he can't come today,” Adam said, from inside Lillith's sewing room.

“Do you think he's hurt?” Lillith asked. “Or maybe he's sick?”

“No, he must be out doing something. I'm sure he's alright.”

Joshua stepped forward to listen better, but he stepped on a creak and froze, stilling himself.

After a long moment, Adam asked if Joshua was home, so he gave up the act.

“Yeah, I'm home. Joey went to the Atrium,” Joshua replied as his parents came out of the room. They looked to be in their casual attire, which meant that they probably weren’t going anywhere today.

“It's good he goes out and does things,” Adam said and put his hands in the pockets of his slacks. Lillith glanced to her husband at his words, but she didn't do or say anything. Joshua just watched his dad.

“There's nowhere here to work. There's nothing here to do. You only have a job because you're an adult- Joey only goes to the atrium because he's rich.” Joshua turned from his parents to the stairs, and he went up to his room, where he shut the door before sitting on his bed.

Everything was so confusing now. _Now_ what was he supposed to do?

Elle. He could ask Elle, or maybe Scarlet Fitch for help since they seemed the only sane ones anymore.

Grabbing a piece of paper, Joshua redrew the symbol that he had seen on the coin. Then he wrote a note beside it of “Joey's house”, so that he would remember the statue he had seen.

And then he just plopped back on his bed and looked up at the ceiling.

Everything is a load of bullshit.

l.l

Alex came back a day later.

Joshua couldn't bring himself to talk to him, or to sneak off to him, and his parents were home anyway, so he didn't try. Instead, he took to watching Alex through his bedroom window.

Watching Alex, Joshua could see him sit on the ground near the fence, and he dropped his head down before putting a hand on his forehead. He looked upset. ...What were the circumstances behind what Joshua had seen before?

The teen stepped away from the window, where he went to his bed and sat upon it.

Then he stood up and left his room, left the house through the front door, where he started walking to the town hall.

Elle Holloway had been helping her mother there, and Joshua was getting suffocated at home, so he didn't mind the walk. It wasn't a long walk anyway unless you made it, and Joshua stayed on coarse so that he could get there quicker.

Then he went inside, when he reached it on Craven Avenue. Town Hall was empty like always, and he pressed forward so that he could enter the double doors to the main room, where he could already see Judge Holloway sorting through some papers. She seemed to hear Joshua come inside, because as soon as he stepped fully into the room, Judge Holloway flipped the papers over, placing them down onto the table in front of her; so that Joshua couldn’t look at them. Then she raised her gaze from the papers to Joshua, where she smiled her cat smile with the secret eyes.

“Ah, Joshua; what are you doing here?” she asked, turning her attention fully to him, dropping her hands down so that she could smooth out her skirt of any wrinkles, which weren’t there.

Joshua used to look up to her, because with his dad being the sheriff and her the judge, it gave him a lot of time around the court and Holloways. Now, growing up, though, she made him just a bit nervous. Like when your mom stares at you when you try sneaking something that’s not bad, but it makes you feel like it is. She made him feel _guilty_.

“I’m looking for Elle,” Joshua said, keeping his composure and walking further into the room so that he could lean against a pillar in the wall. Judge Holloway kept watching him with that pondering smile before she took a breath and reached a hand up, rubbing her neck.

“Well, she’s not here. She’s been spending some time at the… jail, with Deputy Wheeler. He needed help, and she loves to help; you know this.”

It wasn’t a lie that Elle got around town, with her good heart and all, but that just meant that if Joshua wanted to see her, he had to see Wheeler, and Wheeler would probably tell Adam that he had been hanging around.

“What’s with the wondering, Joshua? Do you need something?” Margaret asked, Joshua looking back to her from the floor that he had been staring at while thinking. The teenager blinked and shook his head quick.

“Uh, no, I was just wanting to talk to her. Not too many people here to talk to anymore, you know?”

“Well, isn’t Elle too old for you to be talking to anyway? She’s just had her twenty sixth birthday, why don’t you try hanging out with people your age?” Margaret stepped away from the stand with her papers, her shoes clacking against the floor as she made her way passed Joshua, to the door on the side that led to one of the two hallways. She grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open, and then she glanced back at Joshua, a signal that told for him to follow her, and he exhaled through his nose and did, because he knew that she was wanting them to talk in her office.

Down the short hallway, it was all silent and dull, the only noise being Judge Holloway’s shoes. The town was so dull that Joshua didn’t know if it was ever lively. Seriously, what is a town supposed to be like? Is the town hall supposed to always be empty?

“Come inside and take a seat Joshua,” Margaret said, leading the teen into her office, where she turned off to her desk, sitting in her chair and crossing her legs under the desk. Joshua felt like a kid going to the principle’s and he walked inside, sitting in the chair in front of her desk. Then the blonde woman put her elbows on the wooden top so that she could rest her chin on her hands, and then her eyes went to Joshua’s in a sense that made him feel like she was willing him to talk to her, if it were possible. If life wasn’t real, she would have to be a witch with coercion powers.

“What’s bothering you, Joshua?”

“Nothing, really. I just-”

“I’ve known you since birth, I know something’s wrong,” Margaret laughed, and Joshua rolled his gaze to the floor.

“…Maybe I’m just tired of this town.”

“What’s there to get tired of? It’s a very safe community.”

“It’s safe because nothing changes, everything is the same. No one moves in, we don’t have festivals, there’s no real school here-”

“If things changed, how would we protect ourselves? It’s good that we’re like this, it means that there is no room for corruption.”

“Change is always good, isn’t that what those famous poets say?”

“Alright, how about another famous quote. Ignorance is bliss, Joshua. What is it you’re trying to do?”

Joshua crossed his arms and slouched some in his seat. “That guy Alex, what’s he doing here? How come he has no place to stay when there’s an escaped convict on the loose? What if he gets hurt? Isn’t it your duty to ensure that everyone is safe?”

“That is up to Mayor Bartlett to decide, Joshua. And your father. I only decide if things are right or wrong. Is this… wrong?” Margaret sat back in her seat, laying her arms on her desk so that she could properly look at Joshua. She reminded him of what a mother usually is: stern. Nothing like his own mother. It also pissed him off.

“Mayor Bartlett is a drunk, Judge Holloway. And my dad doesn’t give a damn.”

“Now, why would you think that? You have a very imaginative eye for a… sixteen year old?”

“Seventeen.”

“My point entirely.”

Joshua puffed out an angry breath and glanced to the side. In the corner of his eye, he could see Judge Holloway look down at her wrist, and then she said something about the time.

“I’m not entirely supposed to tell you, but since you’re out and about now, I guess I will. Most of the town is going out to help look for the convict in a bit, and it would be safer for you to stay indoors. I think it’s time you start heading home,” she spoke, watching Joshua stand up when he did. Then he left the room and she followed, back into the big area with the double doors. Something told him to look around, so he did glance around the room, and that’s when he saw, on the box surface under Judge Holloway’s papers, there was what looked like the same coin slot from before, at Mayor Bartlett’s house. How many more were there? What were they _for_?

“Thanks for all that, Judge Holloway,” Joshua said so that he could her her off of his back, once he reached the double doors. She paused behind him and gave her smile before motioning softly with a hand.

“It’s alright, just be careful. And don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong.” Her face kept its smile, but her words sounded odd, like she was trying to make them sound nice, which they weren’t. Joshua just opened the doors and left, so that he could get away from her and her domain.

Walking home, nothing happened. It was the same as always; nothing happened. Not until he got home.

Adam was already getting inside of his car, looking like he had just gotten ready in his work suit, and Lillith was standing on the front porch like she was going to wave a handkerchief.

Adam saw Joshua before he closed his car door, and he pointed off to the house. “Go inside and stay there!” he called, and Joshua rolled his eyes and stepped passed the car so that he could enter the house. Lillith met him half way so that she could put her hand on his shoulder and lead him inside, and Joshua let her because she was a mess.

Once they were inside, Lillith grabbed Joshua by both his shoulders and looked at him.

“You stay inside, okay? You can go to your room- or you can help me cook! Here, help me make dinner.” She gave a small, hopeful smile, but Joshua cringed at just the idea and shook his head.

“No, I’ll uh, go to my room. I’ve got some things I want to do,” he said, reaching up to gently remove her hands, to which she looked utterly betrayed but didn’t say anything. She didn’t move, either, so Joshua turned and made his awkward way from the front door to the stairs, where he went up and to his room.

Jeez, what was so wrong with today? So awkward. Joshua walked to his bedroom window and peered out, to see if Alex was still out. He was, but he was up and moving, to the back door of the house.

Joshua turned from the window and bolted out of his room, skipping steps down the staircase until he was on the first floor, and then he ran to the basement and through the back door, up those steps until he was outside. Through it all, his mother wasn’t seen, so she had either already beat Joshua to Alex, or she was doing whatever it is she does.

Once Joshua was outside, though, he turned so that he could run to the back door and get Alex, but he was in so much of a hurry that he didn’t see Alex kneeling for his coat just before the back porch, and the teenager crashed into the man, sending them both tumbling on the ground.

There was the feeling of an arm around him, and Joshua was jerked back on a body, on his stomach. Looking down, he was laying on top of Alex, one of the man’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist, keeping him against him. That wasn’t what had Joshua stunned, it was Alex’s brown-gray eyes looking up into his own dark ones. It was something that made Joshua’s heart rap against his chest in unfamiliar beats, but then Alex turned his head to the side, his gaze landing on something, so Joshua looked after.

There was a pretty good sized rock there, and if Joshua calculated it right, it was right where his head would have landed. Blinking away his arousal and awkwardness, Joshua slowly clambered off of Alex, who let him go. Then the man sat up and, after a small moment of dusting grass and things from his hair, looked at Joshua with an expression that started off as confusion before turning into irritation.

“God, what do you want now? You’re going to get me in trouble,” Alex grumbled, pushing up to stand from the ground, snatching his coat. Joshua stood up too, so that he would be too looked down on, because he had something he wanted to say, and he wanted Alex to listen to him.

“There’s a convict out, and it’s not safe for people to be out right now. They’re doing a manhunt for him, and I think that you should be indoors,” Joshua said, crossing his arms over his chest. Alex watched Joshua through narrowed eyes, his army coat hanging from his grip to the ground.

“What do you care about me? I could be the convict, or whatever you’re saying.”

“I know you’re not, because you just aren’t, and before! Before, you said that if I got enough information, you would help and stuff, right? Well, I’ve got some stuff that I want you to hear.”

“So tell me now, then.”

“No, what if my mom sees? Come into the basement.”

“No.”

“Yeah, come on. I… I have a place you can hide, but just come to the basement.”

“Joshua, I’m not-”

“You swore to me, and here I am with everything. Hurry up before anything happens.”

Alex watched Joshua for a long moment before pointing off towards the basement. “Go on and wait for me, I have to get my pay.”

Joshua’s stern face broke a small smile, and he turned from the man so that he could go to the basement and wait. Once he was in the basement, he headed off to the washer and dryer to see what clothes had been done, and he pulled out a big T-shirt that was probably Adam’s, and a pair of shorts. Then he folded them and put them in his arms, and he leaned against the washer to wait. It was about a good ten minutes before Alex came, and he didn’t look too excited about it or anything.

Walking up to Joshua, Alex had his coat on and a small envelope in his hand. Looking at his face closer, Joshua could see that there was a sore red spot on his forehead just above his left eyebrow. What else was he hiding?

Joshua cleared his throat. “There’s a secret spot in my room, my parents don’t look in it or anything.”

“I know. Make sure Lillith doesn’t see me or anything while I go up,” Alex said and Joshua furrowed his eyebrows.

“How do you...”

“Well, go on; keep her busy.” Alex rose his free hand to wave Joshua off, and the teen brunette handed him the clothes before turning to leave the basement, glancing back at him. How _did_ he know?

“Mom!” Joshua called once he was out of the basement, looking around for her. She wasn’t anywhere in view, so he went off to check the kitchen and her sewing room, and she thank god, was in the book room just right of the front door. She was sitting in her rocking chair, looking out the windows with her hands in her lap, humming so lightly that Joshua almost couldn’t hear her. She was probably worried for Adam, but it wasn’t like he was going to war or anything, he was just looking for someone.

“Mom,” Joshua called out softly, so that he could get her attention. She looked over at him, her expression unchanging from its emptiness.

“Yes?”

“Um… Can we start dinner? Maybe some like, Shepherd’s Pie?”

Something of what Joshua said made her eyes brighten up, and she started standing up from her chair. “Why, of course, come on, Joshua.”

She made her way to him, and he offered her a smile to help with the mood, and then he started walking with her to the kitchen. Maybe she was glad to be occupying herself, she and Adam never really liked sitting around. Lillith was always cooking, sewing, or reading. That, or just watching out the window. For whatever reasons.

  



	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking sorry, I thought today was Wednesday (When you graduate highschool, you stop bothering with days apparently)

Once they entered the kitchen, Lillith was pretty quick to get her pans out, and then she was just as quick getting her ingredients: potatoes, carrots, herbs, hamburger… Honestly, Joshua was pretty satisfied with his dinner choice.

Joshua started getting awkward when his mom moved around him to get her knives, and her apron, and whatever else, because she didn’t really talk to him. She was pretty much sucked into the idea of cooking.

“...Mom, I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” Joshua said, watching her as she started peeling potatoes. She didn’t hear him at first, but after a moment she looked up at him and nodded.

“Alright, dear.”

Joshua rolled his eyes with a little snort before turning from her and leaving the kitchen up to his room, because he seriously doubted she would remember him leaving.

Opening his bedroom door, he peeked inside.

“Alex?”

The door was pushed shut again and Joshua backed up so that it wouldn’t hit him. He could hear Alex’s voice from inside the room muttering something, but he couldn’t distinguish what. Then the door opened Joshua heard Alex sigh from inside.

“You can come in now.”

Slowly, Joshua started making his way in, peeking around the door to see what Alex was doing. He looked to be dressed in the new clothes Joshua had given him, a white shirt and some dark shorts, and his dirty clothes were on the floor. Bending over to grab them, Joshua paused when Alex blocked him with an arm. There was a bruise on his upper forearm, his veins showing through as red underneath the grey and purple. Joshua looked up at Alex and the man’s eyes looked… nervous? Awkward? It was something, but Joshua couldn’t tell.

“Don’t touch them, I’ll take care of them,” Alex said, and from his tone of voice, Joshua could tell it was shame. Probably from that night.

Standing back up, Joshua nodded and glanced off so that he wouldn’t hurt Alex anymore with staring.

“I have another sleeping bag, I’ll put it in the secret room and you can stay in there. ...I guess I’ll get it, then.” Joshua shut his bedroom door before turning to his bed so that he could get the rolled up sleeping bag from the floor beside it, and he started unrolling it so that he could dust it. As he started taking it back to the secret room, he glanced off to Alex to see the man watching him, but then his brown-grey eyes looked away.

“What questions do you have for me?” Alex asked when Joshua opened the secret bookcase, laying the sleeping bag down on the floor inside. Turning out of the little room and going back to his bed, Joshua grabbed one of his pillows, and he shrugged lightly, pressing his lips together.

He wanted to ask a lot of things, but he knew that Alex would only answer a few. Joshua chose to only ask the necessary things. Like, “How did you know about the secret room?” Asking it, Joshua looked back at Alex, who looked like he was already regretting things.

“Alright, a deal is a deal. I used to sleep in it,” Alex said, and it gave Joshua a pure shock.

“What? Wait, can you start from the beginning?”

“I’m not going to tell you everything, Joshua. If you ask the right questions, I’ll answer. That’s my deal.”

“...Okay. When?” Joshua took the pillow to the room, where he put it on top of the sleeping bag, and then he went to get an extra blanket from his closet.

“Maybe… from 1986 to 1994.”

Joshua immediately looked over to Alex, who was looking at the bookshelf beside the bedroom door.

“That’s… that’s eight years. How the hell did you stay in here for nine years? Wait- that’s the year I was born! How-”

“Joshua, lower your voice.”

“...Did my parents know?”

“After eight years I’d hope so. Yes, they did. They orchestrated it.” Alex looked over to Joshua, who was still staring at him in disbelief.

“But… why?”

“You told me you had information, so where is it?” Alex stepped away from the bookcase and Joshua narrowed his eyes at him in annoyance before going to take the blanket to the secret compartment. After doing that, he walked to his bedside table and picked up the note he had taken, of the symbol he had seen on the coins.

Taking it to Alex, the man met him halfway and they got a little too close on accident, but Joshua tried to ignore it. “This. I found some coins with this symbol in my parents’ room, dated to 1986.”

“What’s this “Joey’s house” note for?” Alex asked as he took the note to look over it himself.

“I found some sort of statue in there with a stand underneath it; with a coin slot that had the same symbol. Mayor Bartlett’s house.”

Alex was silent for a long moment before giving a single nod. “Oh.”

“...I also saw one in the town hall. Judge Holloway chased me out before I could see anything else.”

“She’s a bitch.”

Joshua _laughed_. He looked at Alex while laughing and shook his head, the older man cracking a smirk as he held a snicker.

“It’s true,” he said.

“I _know_ , I know.” Joshua wiped an eye and looked at Alex again before shaking his head again. “Jeez, I’ve never heard anyone say that- everyone just talks about “respect your elders”.”

“Fuck the elders.” Alex looked at the note once more, clearing his throat of his humor. “Yeah, I know this symbol, though,” the man said after a small moment, and Joshua looked up at him.

“...If you lived here once, with my parents, then why does everyone hate you?”

“It’s about legacies, Josh. What your ancestors do before you leaves a mark for eternity.”

“Well, what did they do to you?” Joshua took the note when Alex held it out, his brown-grey eyes on the wall across from them, like he were pondering. He looked like he was going to say something, but he must have changed his mind, because he changed the subject.

“What else did you find?” he asked, looking at Joshua. Joshua reached into his pocket to pull out the ruined photograph, and he held it out.

“I found this. It didn’t have any writing on it, and I… sort of ruined it.”

“I can tell. What was it?”

“A photograph. I found it in my parents’ bedroom closet. It was a woman with a baby, but I had it in my pocket and Joey washed my clothes at his house, so it ruined it. Sorry.”

Alex gave a single shouldered shrug and held the photograph back out. “It’s alright. …How long are you planning on me staying?” He looked at Joshua, who bit his lip and started thinking, because he hadn’t thought about it.

“...Maybe a long time?”

“No.” Alex immediately shot down Joshua's hopeful eyes.

“Why?”

“Because- do you know how much trouble we’ll _both_ be in? Do you want your parents in trouble?”

“Why would _they_ get in trouble? Alex, what is there you aren’t telling me?”

Alex gave a low groan and turned, walking to the door so that he could grab his clothes, and he took them to Joshua’s small trash can that he had seen earlier, shoving them inside. He tossed his army coat into the secret room.

“You said that you’d help me, so you have to help me,” Joshua crossed his arms, watching as Alex dropped down to sit on the sleeping bag and blanket. The man tossed up his hands in annoyance.

“What do you want to know?”

“I want to know what you know, but because you’re stubborn, I need help finding my mom’s purse.”

“Why?”

“Because I think that she could be hiding something in it, something useful.” Joshua sat on his bed. “I just can’t find it, she keeps it hidden from me.”

“Wow, what a surprise.”

“You’re very sarcastic, I never knew that.”

Alex rolled his eyes and sighed before leaning back so that he could sit against the hidden room’s wall. “Try looking under her sewing station’s table. She used to hang it on a little hook underneath so that she’d remember it, ‘said that it always brushed her leg and reminded her.”

“...I really want to know how you know so much,” Joshua said and stood up from his bed. Alex gave him an honest shrug.

“I’m sorry.”

Joshua watched him for a moment before sighing. “You should close the door so they don’t see you,” he said and waited for Alex to shut the secret door before leaving the room so that he could go downstairs. He figured he should make sure that Lillith was still cooking, so that she wouldn’t catch him, and so that he could also check on the food, because Alex must be hungry.

Walking into the kitchen, Joshua could see his mom layering the pie with the potatoes, which meant that she was about to put it in the oven and then do whatever it is she does when waiting for dinner to finish.

“Hey Mom.” Joshua walked over, putting his arms on the kitchen counter in front of his mom, who looked up at him from her art in acknowledgment.

“Do you think we could also have a desert? Maybe… a pie, or something?” Anything to keep her in here longer.

“I don’t have- well, I could make apple pie...”

“Yes! Apple pie, great! My favorite,” Joshua grinned to his mother, who gave a soft smile.

“...Alright, apple pie. Would you mind cutting the apples for me?”

“...Sure,” Joshua went to get some apples, and he started cutting them once his mom gave him a knife. While he did that, she started making the dough.

“Honey, not that thick,” Lillith said and Joshua looked at his slices. Honestly, he was trying to do it quick so he could get out of there quicker.

“Sorry, I’m just really hungry. Maybe I shouldn’t help, I have pretty clumsy hands,” Joshua gave his mom a meek smile and she looked like she was going to say “It’s alright, you’re doing great”, until he popped an apple slice into his mouth, which made Lillith sigh and wave him off.

“Go on, leave the fruit alone.”

“Alright, looking forward to dinner.” Joshua smiled to her but she was already done with him, so she kept making her dough.

He left the kitchen so that he could go to the sewing room, and from there, he went to her sewing table. There was a white cloth draped over the table top, concealing what was underneath, so Joshua knelt beside the table and picked the cloth up on one side.

It was there, surprisingly; hanging from a hook. Joshua reached out to take the purse from its confinement, and he was even more surprised by how heavy it was. What did she keep inside? Something she shouldn’t? Something of a secret? Something… normal? What if she wasn’t really as bad as Joshua thought?

The purse had its dark netting over its body, so that he couldn’t see its natural appearance underneath. Pulling the snap inside open, Joshua opened it and peered inside.

There were some prescription pills that he didn’t know she had, some folded up paperwork that he wasn’t interested in put probably should have looked at, her wallet… it was normal things, besides the pills, which were full and reached a total of seven cases. There was nothing more than that.

There had to be something.

Joshua shut the purse and looked at the outside of it again. Running his thumb along the netting on what he assumed was the front of the purse, he could feel something hard in the middle, covered by the black. Guiltily, Joshua reached up on the sewing table for his mom’s sewing scissors, and he brought the large sheers back to him. Slipping a blade of the scissors into a piece of the black thread, he snipped it open.

Then he put the scissors down and started pulling the little hole gradually bigger, so that he could stick a finger inside. Hopefully Lillith wouldn’t notice.

He made a big enough hole to stick a slender finger through, and he started feeling around underneath the black. He could feel the natural leather of the purse, which was smooth and chilly, ultimately nice. Then he felt something else, though. It felt like something embedded into the leather, like some metal piece. It could have been something that came with the accessory, but something told Joshua it wasn’t. He just couldn’t look, though.

He touched a part of the metal and there was an audible click, a quiet one. Then he could feel something drop to the bottom of the purse, being caught in the net.

Tilting the purse upside down, Joshua tried working whatever had fallen to the little hole he had made, and when the thing fell against his knuckle, he slipped his finger over it and started slipping it out.

It was a key. If it was hidden in a contrapment in some black netting, it must be important somewhere. Looking at it, though, Joshua could see that it was very, very odd. It didn’t have teeth like a normal key, its were… unique. It also felt somewhat heavy in his grip for a key, and on the handle it had the same symbol as the coins and the coin slots. It also, though, had a number printed onto it, like a serial code: 206. Or a room.

Maybe it was some hotel room key of sorts?

Joshua put Lillith’s purse back on the hook, slipping the key into his pocket before leaving the room. He must have luck on his side, because his mom was still in the kitchen, he could hear her messing with some dishes.

Heading back upstairs, Joshua was on the way to his bedroom, but he changed coarse for his parents’ instead. He should probably get everything he needed, coins included.

Entering the master bedroom, he went to the closet with the same thing planned for if he got caught: he was going to the bathroom.

He opened the closet and dropped down to his knees, where he went to grab the box… that wasn’t there. The closet looked like it had been cleaned.

“You’re fucking...” Joshua got up and stood on his tiptoes, peering at the top of the closet where there was a shelf that had neat boxes and folded clothes. He just didn’t see _that_ box.

“Goddammit.” He closed the doors and turned from the closet just as the bedroom doors opened, and it was Lillith. Joshua gave her a smile, walking away from the closet to the doors so that he could leave.

“Dinner almost ready?” He asked, hoping to will her away from asking anything about him. She looked like she was trying to figure out _something_ , but she ultimately decided to just nod and give a tiny, kind smile.

“Almost, about fifteen minutes, maybe. ...Do you think your father will be home then?” She sounded like a sad child, and it made Joshua sort of awkward because he didn’t know what exactly to do when she got like that, but he just waved her off with an, “Of course, yeah- he wouldn’t miss pie, Mom; especially yours.”

It was enough to make her pass him with some sort of shy look on her face, and Joshua breathed through his nose before leaving the room, going to his own. He’d have to look for the coins some other time, preferably when Adam _and_ Lillith were gone.

He closed his bedroom door after entering his room, where he went to open the bookcase. Alex was inside, but he looked terrified, and Joshua smiled meekly.

“...Sorry.”

“God, I thought you were Adam or something,” Alex said as he sat against the wall. He must have been laying down before Joshua came. “We really need to get some knock or some shit together,” the man added, reaching up to rub his eyes which, Joshua noted, looked dark underneath.

Sitting cross-legged in front of him, Joshua watched the man grimace as he rubbed his eyes. “Have you not been getting much sleep?” the teen asked when Alex dropped his hand to his lap, leaning back against the wall. His brown-grey eyes looked… worn.

“No,” Alex answered honestly. His demeanor from before seemed to be wearing off, like he was gradually being drained of his sarcasm and stubbornness. Joshua felt bad, but he pulled the key from his pocket and held it out.

“This is what I found in my mom’s purse. There was a box in their bedroom closet of coins, but it’s gone now,” the teen said as Alex took the key in a light grip. Looking down at it, his eyes looked even darker from before, and it made Joshua feel guilty. “Do you know what it’s for?” the teen brunette asked.

Pointing at the key, Alex glanced back up to Joshua. “See this number?”

Joshua nodded.

“It’s not a serial number. Keys get numbers depending on their cuts and stuff. They have more than three numbers, and this key obviously doesn’t have the cuts 206.”

“How do you know that?”

“Odd jobs growing up. I worked at a Locksmith’s. ...202 is my birthday, February 2nd. For what it’s worth, anything you find that you shouldn’t from the year 1986 is either about me or my mother,” Alex said, staring at the key. Then he put it down on the floor between he and Joshua, and he lay back down on the sleeping bag. He didn’t seem interested in covering up yet, because he was laying on the blanket, too. To Joshua, he looked like he would pass out any second. Would he? Has he been forcing himself to stay awake?

“Why would I find things of you and your mom? Who is she?”

Alex watched Joshua for a moment, his face, before looking away. “...I’m not actually sure.”

“...” Joshua sighed and snatched up the key, standing up. He could feel Alex’s eyes on him as he turned from the secret room to his bed, where he started shoving the key underneath his mattress, with Alex’s diary. Then he snagged up the blanket from his bed and made his way back to Alex, where he put the blanket over him. Alex looked like he was going to protest, pulling an arm out of the blanket, but Joshua pointed at him and he paused.

“You’re going to rest, maybe even sleep, until dinner’s done. I’ll wake you up when it’s ready. ...You’ll know it’s me when I…” Joshua looked around, like he was thinking of what to do, and Alex tried to speak again but the teen cut him off quick. “When I knock twice, like this,” Joshua gave two slow knocks against the wall and Alex sighed

“How long do you think I’m staying here? Two nights is risky, and any more than that is death,” the man muttered under his breath.

“Well, what’s one night?”

“Stupid.”

“My mom said dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes, about. It’s been about ten now. You can get some rest in now, or you can eat first and then.”

“...There’s nothing like working on an empty stomach; I’ll save it for tomorrow morning, if I can,” Alex breathed.

“...How are you going to work tomorrow? How will you get out of here unspotted? And I’m not starving you or anything, Alex, I’m going to give you breakfast too,” Joshua scoffed. Alex looked at him like he didn’t _want_ to believe him, but he had to because Joshua was an adamant brat.

Alex didn’t say anything, so Joshua motioned off. “I’m gonna go check on dinner, ‘kay? My dad isn’t here, it’s just my mom, if you haven’t caught on.”

Alex didn’t reply or nod, just closed his eyes. Joshua shut the bookcase again before leaving the room to go back downstairs.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joshua and Alex decide that they should find the missing '86 coins before they do anything else, and it happens to lead them into the attic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if it seems rushed through or if anyone is ooc, but my internet goes out in just a few minutes, so I rushed to upload this chapter in time for Shameful Thursday. Thank you for reading, and please give feedback!

**Chapter Nine**

  


Joshua and Alex ate dinner together. Adam still wasn’t home and it depressed Lillith into not eating yet, siting in her rocking chair near the window.

Joshua felt excited watching Alex eat because them man smiled at the first bite and couldn’t get over it.

“I hated this food as a kid because it was “Shepherd’s” Pie, but I can’t believe how much I’ve missed it. Lillith is the best cook,” Alex said while eating and Joshua couldn’t help but to agree as he watched him.

“It’s really good. What else did you used to eat?” The teen asked and Alex shook his head at the memories.

“God, we would have this, and lasagna, and potato soup. One time, a long time ago, she made Stuffed Cabbage and it was the most… homey thing ever.”

“...Why _did_ you live with them?” Joshua asked as he took a bite, to try and casually bring it out, and it either worked or Alex was just too alive right now to tell him off.

“I honestly don’t know. My mother, she uh… must have done something bad, but Adam and Lillith took me in, kept me hidden since I was about a year old.”

“...So the town didn’t know about you?”

“No. I don’t know what my mother did, or why she did anything she did, but when I was growing up with Adam and Lillith, they told me that I was supposed to be a secret. So I was. Until you were born,” Alex said and took a small bite of his apple pie before putting his plate down. He was too weak to eat anything sweet yet.

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows. “Why until I was born?”

“Something would happen if I stayed; you could accidentally tell someone, or something of that nature. That’s what your parents thought at first, but then Margaret, being everything that she is… she somehow knew, and your parents sent me away. ...I really wanted to see a baby.” Alex was looking down at his hands in his lap, then his gaze traveled up his arm and he averted his gaze when he saw the bruise on his forearm.

Joshua put down his plate. “Why did you come back? If you were sent away to stay safe, why come back here where they made you leave?”

“...After everything I’ve been through… I really wanted… this is stupid. Do you have anything else you want to ask me, or not?” Alex looked at Joshua, who pressed his lips together, figuring out if he wanted to ask or not.

“…I… I saw you, Alex… and Mayor Bartlett. What’s going on with you?”

Alex’s gaze turned into a glare, and then he scowled. “You don’t want to know. Is that it? That’s all you have? Because if so, I’m going to rest.”

“How am I supposed to do all this stuff if you don’t want to help me? You have to either help me or guide me, because this is stupid. Why haven’t you left town yet? You know that no one here likes you.” Joshua leaned back against the secret door, huffing.

Alex eyed the teen for a moment before shaking his head. “I can’t. Not now that the town is on lock down.”

“Why didn’t you leave _before_?”

“Because, Joshua, I just didn’t. It’s not like I’m allowed to, anyway. Bartlett and Holloway are adamant on my staying here and everyone else in this shit hole is obsessed with obeying them.” Alex sighed and dragged a hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Joshua looked down at his plate, not knowing what to do. Then he glanced up, giving a slight wave of his hand. “...So, um… how often do you go to the Bartlett house?”

Alex looked like he was going to punch him, so Joshua held up both hands.

“I’m asking because of the coin pillar! Jeez, dude. I’m gonna see if I can find the coins and then, I’m assuming Mayor Bartlett doesn’t let Joey stay home during that stuff, right?”

Alex dropped his head back against the wall and sighed before going quiet for a while. “The kid isn’t there when I go over, he was just there that night when you were. Bartlett usually locks the door when I go inside. You’re wanting to sneak in, am I right?” he looked at Joshua through his lidded eyes and the younger brunette nodded.

“You’d better not get caught Joshua,” Alex breathed deeply. “I’ll unlock the door for you after I’m inside and then I’ll… keep him distracted. But you’ve got to be quick, do you understand me?” The man lowered his voice and the teen nodded again, smiling just a slight at him in return.

Alex shook his head with a deep exhale and pushed forward off of the wall to lean his elbows on his knees. “...You’d better be really fucking quick.”

“I will, I promise.” Joshua reached out, sticking out his pinkie for Alex, who didn’t give sass or anything before reaching out and completing the swear. Then Joshua stood up after a moment, taking he and Alex’s plates before pushing open the bookcase door.

“I’ll be back in a bit, okay? I’m gonna look some more for the coins,” he said.

“Try looking in the attic, Adam stores a lot of stuff up there.” Alex sighed and started standing up. “I’ll have to help you. Let’s hurry before your dad gets back,” he said and Joshua blinked back his fluster when Alex took a step forward, making them even closer in the confined space. Nodding, Joshua quickly stepped out of the secret room so that he would be out of boner’s way, and he went to put the plates on his desk. Carefully glancing back, he looked at Alex, who had just emerged from the secret room and was stretching. Lifting his arms up over his head, his extended torso pulled his shirt up his naval and it was just enough for Joshua to see his V-line from his pants that were too big at the waist.

There was also what looked to be a bruise or something hiding underneath his shirt, the bottom of the wound barely visible from the height that the shirt was lifted to. And then there was a loud exhale and Alex dropped his arms back to his sides, his shirt pooling down his sides and covering the skin that had been briefly shown. Joshua quickly looked up to Alex’s face and motioned a hand.

“Ready?” he asked. It felt like a sin for how good he was getting at sneaking glances.

Alex nodded and turned to shut the bookcase. “Yeah.” He pointed off to the door. “You should go first, make sure it’s clear.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I was going to do that.” Joshua walked off to the door so that he could peek out and he puffed when he heard an airy snicker from Alex. He was getting better at peeking, but he was still an airhead around that man.

Looking down the hall, it seemed clear enough. It was just a straight turn to the left from here and then they would be in the TV room. And after that? The attic staircase in what looked like a closet door.

“It’s clear,” Joshua looked back inside the room at Alex, who was heading over from the bookcase.

“Let’s go, then.”

Joshua stepped out into the hallway so that Alex could slip out and the man turned immediately to the TV room, like he knew the entire house. He did.

Joshua stood watch until Alex disappeared into the room, but then he quickly turned back to his room and went to his bed, where he slipped a hand underneath his pillow. The weird flashlight Alex had given him was still there, and he pulled it out of its hiding spot before heading back out of the room, sticking it in his pants waist band. Then the teen went in the TV room after Alex, going inside and shutting the door quietly just after.

“I have a question,” Joshua whispered to Alex after rushing to catch up to him, the man walking in front of him to the staircase door, leaving the younger brunette to talk to his back.

“What?” Alex sounded, not much of anything in his voice as he continued to the door. Once reaching it, he grabbed the doorknob to turn it but Joshua reached out and placed his hand over Alex’s forearm, slightly gripping it. Alex turned slightly to look at the teen.

“What?” He asked again, this time having some soul in his question. Joshua didn’t let go of Alex’s shoulder, but he lifted his gaze up to look into the man’s brown-grey eyes, which were lowered and looking into his brown.

“I want to do all of this so that you won’t be an outcast anymore… so that I can figure out why it is they’re treating you like that. But what are you going to do after all of this? Stay here? Leave? You haven’t told me everything Alex, and I want to know,” Joshua spoke, his voice quiet; louder than a whisper but quieter than a hush.

Alex looked down at Joshua’s hand, his skin fair and pale. He didn’t let him go; instead, Alex could feel the grip tighten just a slight.

“...I don’t know, Joshua. Just concentrate on your summer adventure,” the man mumbled, turning the doorknob and pushing the door open before stepping inside, slipping out of Josh’s grip as he did so.

Shutting yet another door behind them, Joshua followed Alex up the steps to the attic, where it was soaked in darkness. Joshua pulled the flashlight from his pants, switching on the light switch and holding it in his grip. Alex looked at him like he had forgotten that he had given it to the teen, or maybe as though he didn’t think he would actually use it.

Joshua glanced up at Alex and smiled meekly. “I figured it’d probably be dark. We never come up here so-”

“So there’s no need for a light,” Alex finished and Joshua blinked but nodded. It was something that Adam would say to Joshua when he was growing up. The man had done so much work to the house that by the time it actually came to the attic, he had worn himself down of it.

Carefully slipping his gaze from Alex, Joshua started slowly looking around with the flashlight, dust particles and heavy shadows taking up the empty floor’s space. It actually did frighten Joshua, seeing the shadows that warped with the movements of hid light. Swallowing, he took a breath. “Where do we look?” he asked quietly, his voice taken by the dust that swelled his throat. Alex watched the teenager, lips tight with concern at the look that he saw in his eyes.

“…Over there,” the man reached out, taking Joshua’s hand with the light and guiding it to a spot in the nighttime attic where there was a large, empty dresser against the far wall. Joshua nodded, a breathy word coming out of his mouth that Alex couldn’t decipher. The man let go of Joshua’s hand and instead, put his arm around the teen brunette’s shoulders.

“Don’t scare yourself,” he said quietly, but it pounded in Joshua’s ears. The teen nodded, swallowing again at the nerves that took him over when Alex’s body pressed beside his. It did make him feel safe, but having his arm outstretched to the darkness still gave him the fear that something foreign would grab him, like a ghost.

Joshua didn’t believe in ghosts, but he did believe in the fear that the darkness gave him.

Alex walked Joshua to the dresser with him, but then he paused half way and looked at Joshua’s face, dark in the attic’s assault. It wasn’t usually this dark, but it was night now, and it swallowed any light that could be shining in through the little windows. “Can I have the light real fast? I’ll give it back,” he said and Joshua immediately tried finding the man’s face with his wide eyes.

“What?”

“Just let me see it really fast,” Alex chuckled, watching Joshua’s white eyes. The teen didn’t do anything, so after a brief moment, Alex reached out and took the flashlight with his free hand. Then he turned it, shining the light at Joshua’s chest, and the teen shut his mouth tight, unsure of what was going on. There was another little moment of silence, and then Alex looked at Joshua’s face again, that he could now see.

“...Your shirt doesn’t have any pockets, do you care about it that much?” Alex asked. Joshua furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at the light that shone on his dark t shirt.

“...No?”

And then Alex reached out to Joshua’s chest, where he gripped some of the cloth over the teen’s heart. He leaned in close and Joshua got light headed, but then he heard a tear and it made him even more unaware.

Alex let the cloth go from between his teeth, where he had torn a small hole, and then he tore it just a bit wider with his fingers before stuffing the flashlight inside, the cool plastic chilling Joshua’s hot chest and giving him goosebumps.

Alex slipped away from Joshua, stepping away so that he was in the bent flashlight’s view. “Is that better? You don’t have to hold it, just wear a shirt or coat with a chest pocket,” the man spoke and Joshua looked him over. He looked so human, _so so human_.

“...It’s better,” Joshua spoke before smiling, dropping his hands to his sides. Alex nodded, giving the teen a smile of his own, before turning to the empty shelf that stood just before them.

“Okay… I’m gonna push this out of the way.” Alex walked to a side of the shelf, where he braced himself against it. Joshua watched as he slowly pushed it to the side, using four strong shoves. And there was a door, hidden behind the shelf.

“What’s this room?” Joshua asked, looking at Alex. The man gave a light shake of his head, walking to the door and turning the doorknob before pushing the wooden door open.

“Adam brought me here once, when I was a kid. From what he told me, it’s important to the family. I… think he didn’t know he was going to have his own child back then. Anyway, if he hid the coins with whatever significance they have, they’re probably in here.” Alex stepped into the room and Joshua followed quickly after, his light guiding Alex inside.

The room was small, with a desk. On the wall to the right, there was a hanging paper that read of Adam’s retirement from the military, with some great words and whatnot. Overall, the room was full of successes, and there wasn’t anything the interested Joshua. His uninterest actually made him forget that he was on a mission, until Alex said something from just a bit away.

“Josh, I need some light.”

Joshua glanced over and he could see Alex kneeling beside the desk, where there were some boxes shoved underneath. Joshua stepped over and knelt, too, so that he could look while lending light. Alex grabbed a smaller box and pulled it off of the others to himself, before glancing at Joshua.

“What do you think’s in it?” he asked, to which Joshua honestly shrugged. Alex looked back to the box, pulling the crossed flaps open so that he could peer inside. Joshua also looked.

It was full of packing peanuts, nothing more. Alex put it down and moved on to the next, to which Joshua helped him rush open.

It was the same.

But, then Joshua grabbed one and gave it a light shake, to which it made metal noise. “I think this is it,” he said, putting it on the floor in front of him so that he could open the flaps. Alex looked over so that he could see what Joshua pulled out. Looking inside, it did seem to be the box. There were coins, random junk, crumpled pieces of paper- then something grabbed Joshua’s rummaging fingers and he threw the box down with a loud, startled yell.

“What? What?” Alex reached out to grab Joshua’s hand that he held, but the teen didn’t let him, his eyes full of panic and his mind terrorized. “What was it?” Alex asked, looking at the fallen box, its contents spilled.

“S-something grabbed me,” Joshua spoke quickly, getting up just as fast as he spoke.

“What? It was probably just a bug-”

“I fucking love bugs, that was _not_ a bug,” Joshua breathed heavily, still gripping his hand. Alex watched him in pure confusion before slowly getting up with him.

“Okay, okay, let’s get out of here and do this later,” he said, Joshua already nodding quickly in agreeance. Alex let Joshua lead the way, the teen rushing too much for the man to stop and put the shelf back in front of the door.

“Joshua, wait!” Alex whispered sharply after Joshua, who was leaving him in the attic in his hurry. But then the teen stopped just before the attic stairs and Alex had to stop quick so that he wouldn’t run into him.

“ _Joshua!”_ They could hear Adam calling for Joshua. It didn’t sound angry or worried; it was probably just to see if he was asleep, but once he found that Joshua wasn’t in bed, he’d probably start actively searching for him. If he wasn’t already.

They waited for a long moment, testing the ground to see if they could make it or not, but then they could hear Adam’s booted footsteps _in_ the TV room. Alex grabbed Joshua, turning him around quickly before shoving him toward the secret room.

“Go and get your ass in there, hurry up!” he whispered sharply to the teen, who obeyed by rushing back to the room. He left the door open, watching Alex with his light as the man stayed behind.

If Adam came up into the attic, he’d notice the shelf being moved. Joshua saw something pass in Alex’s eyes, but he couldn’t tell what it was. Not until Alex started hurrying over. Grabbing the door, Alex looked into Joshua’s eyes.

“Be quiet and wait,” he whispered before shutting the door in Joshua’s face. Then Joshua could hear the shelf along the floor, scraping just outside of the secret room that he had been stuffed in.

“Alex! Alex, you can’t leave me in here! Don’t leave me!” Joshua pat the door quick, the sound of the shelf scraping the floor carving his ears.

“Alex!”

Silence. It was silent, then. It was just _silent_. After a moment, Joshua’s frantic heart picked up pace until he himself could hear it, and then after just a second, he could hear everything in the room. He could hear the falling dust, something tiny inside of the wall, the high pitched frequency of pure loneliness that struck him in the ears.

“Alex.” He had meant for it to be a whisper, so that he could test if Alex was there or not, but his voice had deceived him regardless and it had come out as a whimper.

His gut was filling with painful nausea, so he turned and slid down the door to sit on the floor against it, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them. He still had the flashlight, but he didn’t know where to shine it. He dropped his head down, putting his face in his knees and shutting his eyes.

_One, two, three, four_

There was the feeling of something hovering over him, like it was slowly making its way to touch him.

_Five, six, seven, eight_

Then there were boot footsteps in the attic. Wandering, stepping around; _searching_.

_Nine, ten, eleven, twelve_

The frequency in his ears got higher, and the feeling of that invisible force reaching for him got slowly closer, making the hairs on his neck stand up. And even after that, the footsteps seemed to stop; for just a moment before picking back up in a steady path. Right to the secret room.

_Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen_

The frequency picked up even more, and the hairs on his neck turned into buckling on his spine, like he were a cat near water. The footsteps got closer.

_Twenty, twenty one, twenty two_

And closer.

_Twenty three, twenty four, twenty five_

And even closer.

_Twenty seven twentyeighttwentyninethirtythirtyonethirtytwothirtythree_

Then the footsteps stopped. And then, after a moment, they started going back where they came from.

Joshua brought his arms up over his head to hide himself from the ghost, shaking his head with an airy sob.

_Thirty four, thirty five, thirty six, thirty seven_

“She’s not here,” a voice said and Joshua looked up.

It was some sort of shadowy man, watching Joshua with his beady red eyes that seemed endless, like they were something else. He was something else. He wasn’t human.

“She’s not here,” he said again and then there was a shadowy hand that raised up just in front of Joshua’s face, and he screamed when it jerked for him.

“Joshua, sh… sh…” It was Alex’s voice and Joshua opened his eyes, his body sweaty and his heart racing. He could feel Alex holding him from behind, an arm around his torso and a hand over his mouth. They seemed to be on the floor, with Joshua sitting slouched against Alex’s torso, the man holding him and willing him to be quiet.

They stayed like that for a moment, enough for Joshua’s heart to gradually calm down, and then Alex slowly moved his hand from the teen’s mouth.

“...Are you okay?” He asked, looking at Joshua’s clammy face, pale as though he were sick.

Joshua didn’t do or say anything, his open eyes on the desk in front of him, his light shining against the spilled coins on the floor.

Alex put a hand on Joshua’s head, pulling him close so that he could try and calm him down more. “I’m sorry,” he said. Then Joshua managed to utter a whispered “Where were you”, that sounded just as sick as he looked.

“Adam came up so I hid behind some mannequins in a corner. I’m sorry you got so scared, I didn’t think it was that long of a time… What was that, a panic attack?”

Joshua placed his arms over Alex’s that was around his torso, holding him while he stared at the glittering coins.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Sensual content
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: The chapter was originally longer, but I wanted to break it into two rather than one because...  
> well, yall deserve a good chapter before the shit hits the fan in the next ones.

**Chapter Ten**

  
  


Joshua's only excuse to Adam was that his father had overlooked him. It wasn't believable in the slightest, but Joshua was okay with that. Because he didn't really know what else he should have done in the moment of interrogation. When Adam left him to eat dinner with Lillian, because she had waited for him, Joshua went into the bookcase to join Alex. Because he was still scared.

“In your journal,” Joshua said, sitting against the wall beside Alex, “You said “military dad, military son”. What did that mean?” He looked at the man beside him, knees up to his chest underneath Alex's blanket that the two shared. Alex breathed through his nose, staring at the inside of the bookcase. Probably because he didn't want to answer, but he did anyway, because he felt bad that he'd scared Josh in the attic.

“...It was just about Adam. He's not my dad, but I just... Those are old entries.”

“Where did you go to school? You said something about high school, but you left here when you were eight.”

“These aren't really relevant, Joshua.”

Joshua rest his chin on his knees and sighed. Alex sighed too. “...When do you want to do the coins at Bartlett's house?” the man asked. Joshua glanced at him before looking away.

“...We don't have-”

“We already got the coins, Josh. Besides, I'm gonna be staying here a few days anyway.”

Joshua looked at Alex again, the man looking at him and giving a lazy, sexy smile. The teen sat up. “Y-you said no more than one day.”

“Yeah, staying more than today is stupid, but it's not stupider than the other shit we've been doing.” Alex nudged Joshua with his elbow and the teen felt a light heat in his cheeks. He smiled meekly.

“...Thanks.”

Alex put a hand on the teen's head and ruffled his hair. “No problem. I've never had a summer adventure.”

Joshua chuckled. “Sounds like a movie.”

“Could be.”

“...What kind of movies do you like?” Joshua asked, turning to lean his shoulder against the wall, facing Alex more. It was comforting knowing that Alex could let go of his “lone rider” act for a bit. It was also nice to get to sit this close with him and talk about nothing. In the small area's darkness, he could just make out Alex's nice jawline and unique, worn and haunted eyes. Those eyes looked at Joshua.

“The classics. How about you?”

Joshua smiled. “Anything. I'm not picky. What kinds of classics?”

“You know; _Alien_ , _The Thing_ , _Poltergeist_ -”

“Those are all eighties horror movies,” Joshua said with a scoff and roll of his eyes. Alex sucked his teeth.

“Actually, _Alien_ was '76. I hope you don't call yourself a movie buff,” Alex said through a teasing smirk. Joshua rolled his eyes again and put his legs down. From that, Alex could tell that the teen was starting to calm down some more.

“I don't. Do _you_? That's so cheesy.”

Alex laughed. “What's cheesy about that? Films are great. Especially horror- you can really see the effort that goes into it all. Takes a lot to scare an audience.”

“...Okay, now you sound like a dad,” Joshua stated and they both laughed. Then Joshua grew quiet, his gaze elsewhere. When he looked back at Alex, he looked awkward. “Are you um, gonna ever have kids?”

Alex shook his head, bringing a knee up to rest his arm on it. “Er, no, I hope not. It takes a lot to give someone a good life.” Joshua breathed a sigh of relief and Alex gave him a sideways glance. “Why?”

Joshua blinked and cleared his throat. “Oh, nothing- I just... you look like you'd be a good dad,” he said. Alex looked at the wall, pondering the questions.

“...I'm only twenty six.”

“Yeah, I know. Well, I don't _know_ , I just... Are you tired? You haven't really slept yet.”

“Are _you_?” Alex looked at Joshua. The younger brunette was already looking at him.

“...No.”

“Funny how small things can wake you up again.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was so tired earlier I didn't even want to eat. Instead of being even more tired now, all this talking woke me up. ...It's something we'd talk about in the military.” Joshua scoot closer to Alex, pulling the blanket further onto himself. Alex looked at him. “What are you doing?”

Joshua cleared his throat.“Can you just... tell me some story?”

“...One time when I was little, Lillian brought me out to her garden. It was nearing sundown and there wasn't really anyone outside. While she was teaching me how to tend her garden, she mentioned how she and Adam had wanted children for years. 'Said that even though it was a stupid, dangerous idea, she was glad that they took me in. And that Adam was secretly happy, too, even though he never showed.” Alex looked at Joshua when the teen put his head against the man's shoulder, getting uncomfortably close and even slipping an arm around the man's stomach. His eyes were closed, though.

“In Lillian's garden, she used to have strawberries,” Alex continued speaking, “And she gave me one. It was delicious and sweet, but just a few seconds later I couldn't even breathe. 'Turns out I'm allergic. Who the hell is allergic to strawberries?” Joshua grunted in acknowledgment and shook his head lightly against Alex, because he didn't know. Who's allergic to strawberries? “Lillian brought me inside and she and Adam acted like I was dying. They couldn't take me to a doctor, but somehow I pulled through the night. They let me sleep in their bed with them for a few days. Then, a little later, Lillian was pregnant. And they said I'd get to hold the baby.”

Joshua gave a sigh against Alex and the man started pulling the blanket off of them. Joshua had fallen asleep. Alex stood up from being beside Joshua and opened the door before kneeling down and slipping his arms around the teen. He lifted him up with a grunt, bouncing him in his arms for a better hold, which made the younger brunette moan and lean against him. Once he had him, Alex carried Joshua to his bed and lay him down, covering him up. The teen curled into a ball on his side.

Once that was done, Alex turned on a lamp that was on Joshua's desk and retreated back into the secret room, shutting the bookcase.

l.l

In the morning, Joshua woke to footsteps going around his room. He rolled over and opened his eyes to see who it was, finding Adam looking at things. Including the two plates on Josh's desk. The man looked at Joshua and the teen wished he had stayed asleep. “Get downstairs. And bring those damn plates down, too,” he said. Joshua gave a tired “okay”. Adam watched the teen for a moment too long for comfort, before ultimately turning and leaving the room.

After a few minutes of resting and not wanting to go downstairs, Joshua sat up in bed and stretched before standing and going to the desk to grab the plates.

Did Adam suspect something? Hell, with two plates, probably.

The teen picked up the plates and looked at his lamp, which was on. He furrowed his eyebrows before reaching out and turning it off. He briefly glanced at the bookcase while leaving the room to his fate.

On his way to the kitchen, Lillian and Adam sat at the dining table with breakfast. There was an extra plate for Joshua. The teen breathed and took the plates to dump and put in the sink. This was going to be awkward.

“Sit down,” Adam said to Joshua when the teen came back into the dining room. He sat. Then cleared his throat.

“...What's up?”

Lillian looked at her husband and the man picked up something from his lap, tossed it on the table in front of his son. Picking it up, Joshua saw that it was today's paper. He looked at the front page, which showed his dad and the police department.

It read something of the convict being taken into custody. Joshua looked at his dad. “What, you arrested him then?”

“His name's Paul Russel Douglas. Killed eight children just outside of here,” Adam spoke before taking a bite of his breakfast. “We're transferring him back to Silent Hill Penitentiary, where they'll execute him. Today. So I don't want you getting into trouble while I'm gone.”

“...So does that mean the blockades are gonna be taken down?”

Adam didn't answer for a long time, eating more of his food. It looked like he didn't want to answer. Why?

“Mayor Bartlett thinks...,” Lillian sounded, “That it would be best to keep them up.”

Joshua narrowed his eyes. “Okay, well, why? What if we need to go out of town? Or Alex decides to leave?”

Adam hit his plate a little hard with his fork, making Lillian and Joshua both look at him. He pointed at Joshua. “How do you know his name?”

Joshua watched his dad, confused, before realizing what he'd said. He swallowed and glanced at his mom before speaking. “Um, Joey told me. Anything you guys know, he knows. His dad doesn't really keep things secret around him, you know?”

“I guess that means you shouldn't be hanging out with Joey anymore, then,” Adam said. Joshua gave a little shrug.

“...Okay. Um, how long are you gonna be gone?”

“Long enough. Don't do anything to make us look bad. Now go up and clean your room or something, since you won't get a damn job.”

Joshua watched his dad like he were on his period before standing up and leaving the table to return upstairs. In his stubbornness, he told himself that he wasn't actually hungry for any breakfast. He sort of was though, the more he thought about it.

Turning in the hallway to his parents' room, he went into the bathroom and started brushing his teeth, spitting in the sink and washing his face before giving his hair a little comb through with his fingers. Then he thought about Alex. He'd probably want to clean up, too. It'd just be sort of impossible to sneak him in here.

Since Alex was probably, hopefully still asleep, Joshua took the man's old clothes and jacket to the basement to wash. Lillith didn't start laundry until around noon, and even then, it was on Tuesdays and Thursdays; laundry days. And Adam didn't have any reason to come down here with it not being hunting season, so the laundry in the wash would be undisturbed and secret. While those washed, the teen avoided his breakfast eating parents and used a bucket from the basement to fill with hot, soapy water in the bathroom.

Joshua grabbed a new toothbrush from a drawer beside the sink and spread some toothpaste on it. He pushed the drawer shut again and carried the bucket and toothbrush to his room, where he set them on this desk so that he could shut and block off his door; he used his desk chair, pushing it in front of the bedroom door and just underneath the doorknob. Then, it was time to check on Alex.

Giving the bookcase his two-slow-knock, the teen could hear Alex move inside. Then, after a moment, Alex opened it, sitting up against the wall. He didn't look rested, but he did look like he'd slept. He looked up at Joshua with his grey-brown eyes.

“What time is it?” he asked. It wasn't what Joshua expected to hear at all, so the teen glanced around for his clock before catching the time, of nine o'clock a.m. He verbalized it and Alex nodded in acceptance. The teen then cleared his throat and motioned to the bucket.

“I brought some water so you can clean up. And a toothbrush.” He shuffled off to grab the bucket and brush, bringing them to Alex and grabbing a rag, too, along the way. Alex rose his eyebrows.

“Wow... thanks.” He dipped his hands into the water and brought it up to his face, wiping himself of whatever filth had been on him since Bartlett's house. Then he started scrubbing his arms and neck with the rag, wetting it. When he stripped from his shirt, Joshua took it and dropped it into his laundry basket, shamefully admiring the image of the man cleaning himself.

“...My dad said that they caught the convict,” Joshua said, dropping down to sit in front of Alex as the man scrubbed his body clean. The older brunette stood up and glanced at Joshua while unbuttoning his pants to slip them off.

“That's good,” he said. Joshua nodded. As Alex cleaned himself up, the teen noticed that the man had some scars. He hadn't noticed them before, probably because of the distance, but he noticed them now. Just some cuts and scratches, and fresh bruises from... Just above Alex's knee, Joshua could see a circular scar. He'd always wondered if Alex limped because of a wound, but maybe it was because of that? “...You wanna do me a favor?” the man sounded, making Joshua realize he had been in outer space. The teen cleared his throat.

“Sure.”

“Step out for a sec.”

Joshua looked confused, his eyes looking the man over. He noticed Alex's hands on the waistband of his boxers, like he were going to pull them down. Pull them- “Oh- yeah, yeah,” Joshua quickly got up and slipped out of the closet, walking to his desk and facing his back to the open bookcase. He pressed his lips together and kicked himself. Ugh, stupid.

“You can come back. I guess,” Alex said when he was done redressing and brushing his teeth, like he didn't know if he should even say that. Joshua peeked back, disappointed at the clothed man but breathing a sigh of relief. The teen smiled meekly.

“How do you feel? Cleaner?”

“Yeah, really refreshed. Thanks, Josh.”

“It's nothing,” Joshua replied, despite wanting more praise. He touched his neck. “I uh, tossed your other clothes in the washer. They won't take long.”

Alex nodded. “Thanks.” He watched Joshua, leaning against the doorframe of the bookcase. “Your parents are here, aren't they?” Joshua gave a light nod, “Yeah. Why?” “I've really gotta piss.” The teen laughed before turning to look around his room, his laughter turning into nervousness the more the words processed. That actually was a problem. How would Alex be able to eat or go to the bathroom with his parents home? The young brunette left to a part of the room and came back, holding something out to Alex. When the man looked, he looked back at Joshua's face. “...A bottle?” he asked flatly. Joshua chuckled and shrugged.

“Temporary adjustments?”

Alex took the bottle and pulled the bookcase shut, making a painfully thick wall between the two. Joshua glanced around awkwardly before deciding to start cleaning his room up some. It wasn't messy at all, just a few things out of place. Under his mattress, he still had Alex's diary. Under his pillow, the man's flashlight and the collector's coins. For what, he didn't know. Mayor Bartlett had a coin pillar, so did Judge Halloway. But why? What were they for? What would happen when they put the coins in the slot?

“Hey Alex, do you drink alcohol?” Joshua called out. Alex rolled his eyes from inside the secret closet.

“Everyone does.”

“A lot, though. Do you drink a lot?”

“Why? What's it matter?”

“...I'm just, wondering.”

The bookcase came open again and Alex looked out at Joshua. He gave a heavy breath. “Don't worry about me.”

Joshua looked at Alex and crossed his arms. “I can do what I want. And I wasn't worrying about you.”

Alex snorted. “What was that, then?”

“Just a question.” Joshua sat on his bed and Alex rose an eyebrow at the teen. He glanced over at the bedroom door, with the chair in front of it.

“...What do you think your parents will do if they see me here?”

Joshua shrugged. “Not much.”

“Bullshit. You know your dad would yell.”

“Well, yeah, that's what he does.”

“It'd be different.” That was that. Alex didn't say anything after. He did leave the closet to sit beside Joshua on the teen's bed. He accidentally sat a little close, which Joshua noticed immediately and his heart raced. The teen looked at Alex, his bruised forearms and his messy faux hairdo. His scruffy chin and war-torn eyes.

“...Are you scared?” the teen asked. Alex didn't look at him or nod, or shake his head. His lips parted and he said, “Yeah.” Joshua twisted his lips. “Of what?” he asked. He wanted to know. Why was he letting all of this happen to him? Living in the cemetery, being abused, working for little pay, being _stuck_ here because of the barricades that his abuser thought necessary.

Alex had been looking at the wall, but he dropped his gaze to the floor. He sighed. “What everyone thinks of me.”

“Why would you need to know what they think of you? You're not a bad person.”

“...They think I am. Because of whatever my mother did. ...I'm trying to make up for it all, but nothing's changing.”

Joshua watched Alex for a light moment before reaching across the man's lap and taking his hand. His fingers were long and calloused, and he didn't pull his hand away, but he didn't squeeze Joshua's back. Instead, he looked at the teen like he were confused at the affection. Joshua gulped, looking into Alex's eyes.

“In your diary... you said something about missing girls. ...Do you still miss them?” he asked. Alex knit his eyebrows together. He didn't answer. Joshua felt nervous. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Alex's, the man's stubble pricking his soft skin. He'd never kissed anyone before. He had no clue if he even did it right. Was there a way to do it wrong?

Alex didn't pull away, but he didn't return the kiss. His lips trembled against Joshua's as the teen kissed him. The younger brunette let go of Alex's hand and brought it to the man's crotch, where he touched him lightly through his oversized shorts. Alex broke the kiss and grabbed Joshua's hand to push it away. The teen looked to the other side and licked his lips, face beat red.

“...I'm sorry,” he said shyly. The bed shifted from Alex's weight as the man moved on the mattress. He shook his head but didn't say anything. Joshua touched his lips, which felt ticklish from Alex's facial hair. The teen cautiously looked back at the man, biting his lip. He did want more, to be honest. His groin burned with anticipation, but he knew that he was probably in trouble. He reached out and touched the man's leg regardless, making the older brunette look at him. He didn't look stoked or excited, but he also didn't look furious or upset. He just looked... Joshua couldn't really find a word. The teen pressed his lips together, contemplating what to do next, or what _not_ to do. He leaned forward again and kissed Alex once more, his heart beating so insanely hard with anxiety and excitement that he was shaking.

This time, Alex did return the kiss. He brought a hand up to hold Joshua's neck, and the teen rose his own hands to touch Alex's sharp cheeks, closing his eyes tight and opening his mouth when the kiss got more heated, snuffing him of air. He knew that he had a raging boner because he could feel it pulsing in his jeans. He just wondered what Alex was feeling.

Joshua was suddenly lying on the bed on his back, his arms wrapped around Alex's neck and face radiating heat. He broke the heavy-hearted kiss and gasped when Alex gave a low thrust against the teen's tented boner, giving him some friction he didn't know he needed. He looked up at Alex with wide, excited eyes, the man caressing his thigh and running his hand up and down his waist. Alex was dipped down between Joshua's neck and shoulder, kissing and suckling the soft flesh that lay there. Joshua bit his lip and closed his eyes again, moaning despite himself as the older brunette kissed his neck, his facial hair scratching him.

The teen grabbed Alex's face and willed him into another kiss, moaning when the man rolled his hips against the teen's again. Joshua started roaming Alex's body with his hands, slipping them under the man's shirt and feeling his ribs and light abs, his v-line that led to his shorts' button and zipper. Joshua opened his legs more, allowing Alex further access to roll his groin against the teen's, that felt a little firm, making Joshua's heart beat quicken. He gasped and moaned as the thrusts got harder, or quicker against him, stimulating him and making hot pins run through his lower gut.

Alex got up, sitting between Joshua's legs, and the teen took this as a time to pull his shirt off, lifting it up over his head and dropping it to the ground. He sat up and Alex dipped forward, putting his hands on the teen's slim waist and kissing his chest, dragging his tongue to the brunette's nipple and taking the supple flesh into his mouth. Joshua put his hand in the man's hair, biting his lip and closing his eyes as he was aroused. He pulled Alex up into another kiss and touched his lower stomach, toying with the button.

“Can I see it?” he breathed, looking into Alex's eyes. He saw deprivation and arousal, and all of what was happening made him feel like the porn he watched with Joey was just pure fake. What he said made Alex pause, which meant he was probably going to think about it for a second before saying flat-out “no”, but something else happened instead.

A solid _clack_ against the window made them both jump, and Joshua turned to look at the glass. There was nothing there, so the teen reluctantly left Alex to look outside of it, where he saw Joey with a rock, getting ready to throw it. He saw Joshua and grinned, giving a wave. Joshua turned back to Alex.

“It's Joey.”

 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, sorry if it sounds over the place or short; it was originally part of chapter 10.

****That was all they needed to start cleaning up. He started pulling his shirt back on and Alex retreated back into the secret room. Joshua hopped onto his bed and grabbed his blanket, throwing it over his throbbing boner just as his bedroom window opened, with Joey climbing inside. He'd done that twice before, using the lattice on the side of the house to climb, like in the movies. It was annoying.

“Man, your dad's grumpy today,” Joey said while clambering into the room. Joshua cleared his throat of arousal, wiping his lips that felt tingly and moist and like Alex's were still against them. They were probably red or swollen, which made him feel giddy inside, but this wasn't the time for that.

“What'd he say?”

“Eh, said for me to not come over.”

“Yeah, he told me earlier.”

Joey pointed at Joshua, approaching the teen. “You sick or something? You look red.” Joshua clicked his tongue and waved him off.

“It's okay. ...What are you here for?”

“My dad said that they caught that convict, so they're gonna hold a little celebration at town square. Wanna go?” Joey asked as he hopped onto the bed. Joshua covered himself up some more. His erection was going away, but he did _not_ want to take any chances.

“No, not really. My dad doesn't want me to get into trouble while he's gone, and that's exactly what'll happen.”

“Transferring the convict over?”

Joshua nodded. “His name's Paul Russel Douglas.”

“Yep. Killed a bunch of kids. I heard he messed around with 'em too. You know,” Joey reached out to pinch Joshua's hip and the brunette pulled away.

“Don't.”

“Don't what? He killed both, both girls and boys. Think that makes him gay? If he fucked them all?”

Joshua looked at Joey and frowned. He shook his head and looked away. “No, it doesn't. It makes him _sick_. Only psychopaths rape and kill kids.” It made Joshua imagine a man torturing the poor children, and it just made him shake his head again. Sure did sound like a Silent Hill convict. Everyone there was weird.

“What about bisexual?”

Joshua scoffed and looked at Joey again. “Joey, it doesn't matter- he killed them. I doubt he was even thinking about his sexuality when he was torturing them. Can we just drop this?”

Joey held up a hand in self defense before pointing to the bedroom door. “Why's your door blocked off?”

Joshua pressed his lips together and thought of an excuse. “My parents are annoying, I just wanted to keep them out.”

“Sure you weren't keeping them out for something else?” Joey snickered and bumped Joshua with his shoulder. The smaller brunette narrowed his eyes in annoyance, glad nonetheless that Joey had the effect of erasing his boner.

“Yeah, I'm sure, pervert.”

“Speaking of all of that stuff- I bet Scarlette's a freak in bed.”

Joshua shook his head again. God, what an idiot. “She's probably a virgin, asshole.”

“No way, my friend. It's always the quiet ones. In your case, the sissy ones,” Joey nudged Joshua. Joshua flashed him a look.

“I'm not a sissy, or a wimp, or whatever else is going on in your head. I just don't focus on sex every second of the day.” That was, until Alex came into town.

Joey chuckled and put an arm around Joshua's shoulders, looking at his friend. “I'm just joking. But, only sissies upset with jokes.” He grinned.

Joshua grabbed Joey's arm and wretched it off of him before shoving him to the side. Joey laughed and pushed Joshua down against the bed, the two engaging in a struggle of messing around that Joey took loosely while Joshua meant every shove and elbow.

“I'm not _playing_!” Joshua brought his knee up and hit Joey; he missed what he was really aiming at, but he was satisfied with hitting him at all. Joey gave a pained grunt and grabbed Joshua's wrists, pinning his arms above his head on the bed. Joshua pulled at Joey's grip, but the bigger brunette just tightened his grip around Joshua's wrists. Joshua cried out. “Ow! I told you I wasn't playing- I meant it. Dick.”

“Why don't you like girls?” Joey asked, leaning over Joshua as he pinned him down. Joshua gave him a look.

“What?”

“I've noticed, dipshit. Why don't you like girls?”

Joshua swallowed. ...Did Joey really notice, or was he playing? The teen tried to free himself of Joey's grip again. “Get off me.”

“No. Why don't you like girls? Who do you like?”

“Joey, I'm _really_ not playing this time. Get off of me or I _swear_ we're not friends anymore.”

“It's just a simple question. Answer it and I'll get off.” The two stared at eachother, Joshua upset while Joey looked snarky.

“I just don't like them.”

“So you're gay?”

“I don't know- get off!”

“I like girls.”

“Yeah, okay, get off of me.”

“You're pretty slow, even when it comes to your own shit, but I've noticed that... I don't know, I guess I like you.”

Joshua gave Joey a look. “What? Joey, get off of me! I mean it! This isn't funny, and I'm not playing.”

“Me neither.” Joey held Joshua's gaze. “Who do you like?” Joshua didn't answer, glaring at Joey because he was absolutely frustrated with the teen. Just as Joey got a little close for comfort, the bedroom door tried to open, stopping because of the chair. Joey held Joshua against the bed for a moment before climbing off of the bed and going back to the window. He looked at Joshua and opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then he just shook his head and slipped back out of the window, leaving it open as he left.

Joshua got up and rushed to the door, grabbing the chair and pulling it away. Once it was moved and he opened the door, he saw his mom.

“Your dad left,” she said sadly. Joshua huffed. The lesser of two evils, but it was still annoying. He crossed his arms. He couldn't comprehend! He was still trying to figure out what the hell just happened with Joey, and now he had to deal with his mom. His head was in jumbles from Alex, still, too!

“...Okay,” he said simply, shaking his head to try and clear away some of the thoughts so that he could actually hear what his mom was saying.

“It's dangerous. He left in an armored truck.”

Joshua sighed. “Mom, that's just, like, protocol. He'll be okay, he's a war veteran, remember?”

Lillian gave a tiny, sweet, relieved smile like she had forgotten about that. “You're right. He is.”

Joshua nodded, mentally shaking his head at _everything_. “Yeah. Do you know when he'll be back?”

“A few hours.”

“...Okay. I'm gonna...” Joshua waved the door, signaling that he was going to shut it. His mom stepped back and he shut it in her face. He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. It wasn't even noon yet and he was done with the day!

He knocked on the bookcase and Alex let him open it. The man was sitting against the wall, probably rethinking what had happened earlier, because he didn't actually look at Joshua's face. Joshua cleared his throat.

“Joey said that there's gonna be a party or something at town square. So Mayor Bartlett shouldn't be home. ...Do you wanna go and do the coins, before my dad gets back?”

Alex nodded and stood up, which Joshua didn't actually think he was going to do. He didn't know what he expected.

“I'll... I'm gonna distract my mom, that way you can go out through the basement. Then just wait in the back yard for me,” Joshua said. Alex nodded again. Then he spoke up.

“What happened earlier, it won't happen again.”

Joshua blinked a few times before knitting his eyebrows together. “...I wanted... I've um, liked you for a long time.”

“That really doesn't matter. Do you know how wrong it is? You're a kid- it's just been a long time, so don't think anymore about it,” Alex said. Joshua narrowed his eyes.

“I'm seventeen.”

“My point exactly. Don't try and justify it.”

Joshua glared at Alex for a moment before turning and leaving the room, to distract his mom.

l.l

Lillian wasn't hard to distract. She was already in her rocking chair, looking out of the large windows. So, Joshua and Alex got out of the house okay. Joshua put the man's clothes into the dryer before meeting him outside, and then they slipped out of the backyard into the alley that took them to the cemetery. Then they headed to Bartlett's manor.

Joshua had the coins, because if he got caught by anyone, he could just say that he was looking for Joey. Alex was there to keep watch. If anyone asked what he was doing outside, he was just waiting for Bartlett.

The two could already hear loud voices bounces down the streets from the town square, where the party had already started, apparently. So, theoretically, no one should catch them.

The front door was locked, as expected. So hopefully, Joey was out at the town. Alex opened an unlocked window, helping Joshua inside. The teen looked at him.

“...I won't be long.”

“Okay. Don't get lost. If you can, get me a good bottle of scotch.”

Joshua laughed, but Alex was apparently serious, by his expression. The teen cleared his throat and nodded. “Okay.” He turned away from Alex, glancing back at the man. Alex waved and turned, facing his back to the teen. Joshua let out a breath and started walking off to the pillar. He could hear the coins jingling in his pocket, because he didn't know how many to bring, so he brought a large amount of them. They weighed his pants down a little.

The pillar was where he'd seen it before, with the giant woman hanging over it so ornately.

“Okay... here goes nothing.” Reaching into his pocket, Joshua grabbed a coin. He dropped it into the coin slot and heard it clatter inside. And... nothing. The teen grabbed another, dropping it in, too. There was still nothing.

“What the hell?” He dropped in two more before in the distance, he heard a _click_. Looking off, he tried to figure out where it came from. There were doors everywhere. Had it unlocked a door? _“I won't be long”_ , he'd said. He sighed.

Going off to look at the doors, they were all unlocked. They led to pointless, rich person things. But, on one door, he noticed that the white paint didn't look as symmetrical as the others. Like the door had been painted over, but not with the right shade of white. The teen ran his fingers over the door, feeling the paint. It felt like there was something underneath it. How to check? He couldn't, he assumed, and just tried turning the doorknob. It was unlocked. Hopefully, it was the one that the coins unlocked.

Joshua pushed the door open and stepped inside. It was a large room, and the lights on the ceiling turned on one by one, probably when he opened the door; automatically. The room had a lot of empty space, but that was minus the giant rectangles in the center of the room. Walking up to them, Joshua could see that they had inscriptions.

Martha Bartlett, 1953-1985. Lowell Bartlett, 1957-1985. Stuart Bartlett, 1928-1985. Paisley Bartlett, 1971-1985.

Joshua had never heard of these people. ...Why did they all die in 1985? It was the same year as the coins- one year before Alex was born. What had happened? Did Joey even know about these people? How were they related to him?

Off at the other side of the room was a table, with a picture frame and crumbled piece of paper. Joshua walked over to the table, taking up the picture frame to look at it. The glass was shattered, but the picture inside was fine. It was the same picture Joshua had had before, that he ruined in the wash. It was the picture of the woman and her baby.

Joshua turned the frame over to unlock it and retrieve the picture. This one actually had something written on the back.

_To a beloved Sam Bartlett;_

_With love, Carol._

...Who's Carol? The woman in the picture, obviously. But if that's the case, then who's the baby? And why did his parents also have the photo?

Joshua put the photo in his pocket and picked up the wadded paper, uncrumpling it to see what was on it. It looked like it was the beginning of a letter, but the words were scratched out with whatever pen or pencil was used to write them.

The teen turned and left the room, hearing another _click_ when he shut the door. It had locked itself again. He left to the window he'd climbed in through and hopped back out of it.

“Alex, I-” Looking around, there was no Alex. “Alex!” he called out, looking around at the empty yard. He could still hear people at the town square. “A-”

 _Thwak!_ Something hit Joshua over the head and he fell unconscious onto the grass.

l.l

“Oh, Joshua, are you okay? Is he okay?” Lillian sounded from beside the teen. He opened his eyes and looked at her, furrowing his eyebrows.

“What?” he asked.

“Yeah, he's okay. Just a knock on the head,” Dr. Fitch spoke. Then Joshua realized he was in the doctor's office, laying on a bed. He started sitting up.

“What happened?” he asked, looking between his mom and the doctor. Lillian reached out to touch Joshua's arm, worry pastured on her face. She cleared her throat.

“They found you passed out behind the city hall. What were you doing out?” she asked. Joshua narrowed his eyes. He wasn't at town hall. What had happened at Mayor Bartlett's? The teenager started getting up from the bed, something that made his mom give Dr. Fitch a look of fear, probably for his health. Dr. Fitch reached out to touch Joshua's chest, stopping him.

“W... Let me go, I have to find something,” the teen protested. Alex. He had to find Alex.

The small room's door opened and Adam stepped inside. He wore his uniform, with a gun to his side in a holster. He looked at Joshua, his face so stern it looked like cement, and then looked at Lillian. She looked away at his gaze and he finally spoke.

“You snuck out of the house? And made me look bad?”

“Dad-”

“Go outside and get in the damn car!” Adam yelled. Lillian moved first, slipping around her husband and going to the car. Joshua glared at his dad for a moment before following his mom to the police cruiser.

His dad had gone to Silent Hill, which was about an hour or two away. How long had Joshua been out? His mom probably called Adam here when she heard what happened, so had Joshua been out for longer than an hour? And why the hell was he found at the town hall?

Did someone do this on purpose?

Adam drove Joshua and Lillian home with the add-on of angry screaming at the teen, for embarrassing and ignoring him. Joshua took the scolding in silence because he knew he shouldn't had snuck out with Alex and found a secret tomb in the Bartlett house. But, as soon as he went to bedroom he was now grounded to, he went and looked in the bookcase for Alex, to see if he'd come home.

He wasn't there.

 


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The song in this chapter is a Wiegenlied by Johannes Brahms, and you can listen to the excerpt in this chapter here: https : // vignette . wikia . nocookie . net / silent / images / a / ae / Carol_Doyle . ogg / revision / latest ? Cb = 20120605134407
> 
> PS: There are inaccuracies throughout the story because I've lost my notes a lot while writing this fic, so I'm going to be remastering and editing the previous chapters so that it all makes sense and matches up. I'll note in the story description when they're updated.

**Chapter Twelve**

  
  


Joshua reestablished what all had happened that day while sitting on his bed. He'd kissed Alex, which seemed like nothing now. Joey had come over with some stupid shenanigans. He'd gone with Alex to the Bartlett house and found...

Joshua looked down at the photo. It looked like it was a gift of love. The photo he'd found in his own parents' room was just a plain old photo. What was so special about it now? What was this woman's relationship with Mayor Bartlett? And, better yet, who was the baby? ...Could it be Alex?

...Was Bartlett Alex's dad? No, there was some other exclamation! Whatever it was, though, Alex probably didn't know. He didn't even know his mother.

Joshua would have to ask someone. Someone needed to explain the photo, and the coins, and the room of tombs- someone had to explain what the hell had happened to Alex.

The teen got up from his bed and tried opening his door, but his dad had locked him in. “Fuck,” he whispered sharply to himself.

l.l

He was grounded for three days. He was brought dinner and walked to the bathroom, and then locked back in his bedroom like he was a prisoner. The worst of it was that his dad was the one doing it all, which made Joshua nervous and awkward.

Today, Adam said something other than “bathroom break” or “dinner” to Joshua. He said, “I'm going back to Silent Hill. Deputy Wheeler's staying in case you need anything. If anything happens at all, go and talk to him down at the station.”

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows. “Why are you going there again?”

Adam gave Joshua a stare that said more than enough. Something was going on.

“...What?” the teen asked.

“I just have to do something. So stay here and watch your mother.”

“You're going alone,” Joshua said slowly, “Aren't you? ...What's going on?”

Adam grabbed Joshua by the shoulder and looked into his eyes. “Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.”

“I-I won't.”

Adam watched Joshua for a moment before turning and walking down the hallway, turning down the stairs. Joshua quickly rushed after, leaning over the staircase railing, where he could hear Lillian's weak voice.

“Don't go, Adam! You don't have to go!” she cried, clinging to his arm. Her husband pulled himself away.

“I won't let them do what they did to Carol,” he said harshly.

Carol. The woman in the photo. Who was she?

“You won't come back! I don't want you to leave,” Lilllian cried pathetically. Joshua turned to lean his back against the railing.

He was right. They were hiding something. Everyone in town was. Who was Carol? Let _who_ do _what_? Did someone kidnap Alex? Was he in danger? Better yet, was Adam going to get him?

The front door slammed shut and Joshua could hear his mom say something to herself before he heard her pitter patter as she left the area.

Why would someone take Alex to Silent Hill? _Who_ did?

Joshua turned back to his bedroom and collected up the photograph and coins. Reaching under his mattress for the key from his mother's purse, he felt Alex's diary. ...His diary. Joshua wasn't one to snoop, and he'd made a promise to keep it and not look inside of it, but... what if it held something more about Alex? Besides, Alex had already read Joshua the entries inside, so what was the big deal? Those were just dumb excuses so he could open the diary and feel close to Alex.

Joshua opened up the book.

The first entry was dated 1992, eighteen years ago. But, eighteen years ago and Alex eight. ...Wasn’t this a war diary? Why would there be such an old entry in here?

Joshua fixed the book so that he could easily flip through it and started flipping through the entries. Every single one read 1992, 1993, 1995- it went on. There was no August 9th or 10th- there were no war entries, not any of the ones that Alex had read to Joshua.

These entries all said something else, in a child’s writing.

_Monday, 1992: I found this book in the attic. I read all the books Adam and Lillian have._

_Tuesday: 1992: Margaret came here. Adam made me hide again._

_Sunday, 1992: People threw stuff at the house. I can hear them yelling. Lillian cries a lot._

_Wednesday, 1993: I had my birthday and I got a chocolate bar. I got to go downstairs for a while but then Margaret came again._

_Friday, 1993: Adam said that I need to be quiet more. I think Margaret wants to take me to my mom. And Adam says I have to stop calling her Margaret. Her name is Judge Holloway._

_Tuesday, 1995: Lillian is pregnant. It won’t be my brother or sister, but I’m excited because Ive never seen a baby. Lillian said that I can hold it when its born!_

_Saturday, 1995: Lillian’s stomach is really big, her back must hurt. Adam seems to be happier._

_Sunday, 1995: Judge Holloway found me. Her and Adam argued a lot and she left. He told me that I have to leave now. I don’t want to leave but he said I have to._

_Monday, 1995: I don’t think my mom is in a good place. I think Margaret wants to hurt me._

The entries go on like that before they suddenly end.

Joshua shut the book and stared off. It suddenly felt so foreign in his hand. Like something he could never understand. But it also felt heavy in betrayal.

What had he read, exactly? ...Alex lied. How the hell can someone fake reading something? Why would he lie to him? What _was_ this?

“Mom!” Joshua called, dropping the diary from his hand when his fingers turned absent. He turned and left his room, forgetting the coins and photograph, the things he'd gone in there for. He went downstairs. “Mom!”

Lillian never popped her head out like a normal mom would. Instead, Joshua had to hunt her down in the house, where she sat in the sewing room with her purse in her lap. She looked like she was trying to think about something but her head was scattered. She popped some of the unknown pills into her mouth.

Joshua stepped into the room, all of his emotions running through him: betrayal from Alex's book, frustration with his father and his secrets, anger because he didn't have a normal mother- what was wrong with her? Why didn't he have a normal mom? “Mom,” he said, but she didn't look at him, like he wasn't there and hadn't just called her name. “Mom!” he yelled at her, making her brown eyes slip to him. She tried to give him a smile, but he shook his head and made his way to her. “What's going on with Alex? What the hell did his mom do, huh? Why did you hide him here and throw him out? He was just a kid!”

Lillian seemed zoned out until she heard her son say “Alex”. Then she focused on him. “...Alex?”

“Yeah, Mom,” Joshua glared at her, fuming at her inability to fully notice him. Was she high? “What the hell is going on with Alex? What happened to his mom? What happened to Carol?”

Lillian slowly shook her head. “...Carol... You shouldn't know that name.”

“Well, I _do_ know it, so tell me who she is! What's going to happen to Alex!”

Lillian stared at Joshua for a moment before closing her eyes. Then she started humming. It didn't sound right for the moment of which they were. When she stopped humming, she sat like that for another moment and then spoke. “...Carol's favorite song,” she whispered, “Wiegenlied.” She opened her eyes to look at her son with her empty orbs. “She... wronged the town,” she said, “Brought upon us the... worst shame.”

“...What the heck does that even mean?” All of these riddles!

“She asked me...to watch her baby when they took her away. I always wanted a baby,” Lillian said, dropping her gaze to the floor. It was like she wasn't even talking to Joshua. “She wanted me to watch her baby so I did, and I named him Alex.”

“Mom, what did Carol do? Who took her away?” Joshua asked. Lillian didn't look at him. “Whoever it is has Alex! What are they going to do to him? Why is Dad going to Silent Hill? Mom!”

Lillian dropped her head into a hand and closed her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I don't want Adam to go there,” she whispered. Joshua had had enough and went forward to grab her by the shoulders.

“Mom! Talk to me! What's going to happen to Alex!”

“They're going to burn him,” Lillian said. Joshua stared at his mother. He took a breath.

“...What?”

Lillian looked into her son's eyes. She gave a small smile. “...I'm sorry.”

Joshua let go of his mom and backed up. Burn Alex? Like... _burn_ burn? “What did Carol do? Mom?”

Lillian played with the hem on her purse. She watched her own hands. “She... Carol convinced us to sacrifice for acceptance.”

“...You're lying.”

Lillian didn't look at Joshua or acknowledge him at that point. ...Were the tombs in the Bartlett house sacrifices? No, that was crazy talk. Why the hell would anyone sacrifice... anyone? And to _what_? As far as Joshua knew, there was no “higher grace”. The teen stared at his mom before stepping back away from her. ...Did she kill anyone? No, no, that was even more crazy. ...Did Adam? Joshua turned away from his mother and went back to the stairs, going back into his bedroom.

He had to... do something. Get some more answers, or... or... What if it was all real? What if someone really was going to burn Alex, and Adam was going to get him? Joshua needed answers. He needed to talk to his dad. And he... needed to help Alex. It was his fault that he was taken. But, by _who_? In the journal, Alex wrote about Judge Holloway. She must be involved with his disappearance, then. But why Silent Hill? Why take him there? What was so wrong with all of this?

Joshua grabbed his back pack and started putting the things in it: the diary, key, coins, photograph, flashlight. ...He was going to Silent Hill. Could he trust anyone besides his dad? Adam would have to tell him everything. When he saw that his kid followed him to Silent Hill, he would have to give in. Wouldn't he?

But how would Joshua get there? It was either a drive or boat ride, and he couldn't drive a car. But he didn't have a boat. Joshua stared down at his bag, contemplating things.

l.l

“Your dad's gonna kill you,” Joey said a little too cheerfully as he steered his father's speedboat. Joshua didn't know where Mayor Bartlett was, but Joey was easily found at the junkyard beside the cemetery, messing with an old stove. Joshua looked at him from where he sat across from his friend, holding his bag in his lap. There was a reason he was holding it a little too dear. He had Alex's coat inside, from the washer. Since Joey knew what it looked like, Joshua kept it hidden. But he still kept it close so that he could smell its owner.

“So's yours,” Joshua said to Joey. The other brunette shrugged the words off. And then it was quiet, besides the boat's motor and the water that they splashed through. It was a little awkward since Joey's stunt in Joshua's bedroom, to be honest. Even Joey looked like he kept remembering it, and he had the best poker face Joshua had ever seen.

“Why are you going to Silent Hill?” Joey suddenly asked. Joshua blinked and cleared his throat, looking out at the water. It was just passed noon, but daylight savings made the sun keep at bay; it was getting a little darker outside.

“I just need to talk to my dad.”

“Yeah, but there's like, phones.”

“Dad doesn't believe in them.”

“Okay... Why not talk to Deputy Wheeler?”

Because he couldn't trust anyone? Joshua didn't answer. He didn't really know how to go about all of this. He just knew that he needed answers from the one who'd always been lying to him. Adam.

The boat ride was quicker than by car. Either Joshua would get there before his dad, or just after. Unless he'd taken too long getting his trip to Silent Hill situated. Soon enough, the teens in the boat got to town. At the docks, Joey tied the boat so that it'd stay, and the two started walking down the wooden platform. Joshua glanced at Joey.

“...You come here a lot, right?” he asked. Joey looked at him and shrugged before looking around.

“Yeah. My dad takes me to the Atrium here. We're right behind the department store.”

“...Where do you think my dad would be?”

Joey shrugged and pointed up ahead. “That's Sagan street; take it to go to the police department. If you turn right at the department store, though, on Simmons, then you'll find the Grand Hotel. That's where the Atrium is. Pretty convenient having the good stuff near the docks- don't have to walk too far.”

“Well, my dad's... looking... for something,” Joshua said and looked at his friend. “So I don't think he's gonna be at the police department.”

Joey looked at the shorter brunette. “Okay, so I'm guessing you don't want to go there?” he asked. Joshua shook his head. No, if his dad was here, he wouldn't be sitting in place. Since he's looking for Alex, he'd be on the move. ...Unless he already knew where he was. It'd suck if he got Alex first. “So, where do you want to go?” Joey asked.

The key. The key that Joshua had found in his mom's purse- Alex said it had to be a room key of some sort. ...What if it went to the Grand Hotel? “Um, let's go to the hotel.”

“...Why?” Joey asked, eyeing his friend, because he was being weird. Joshua shrugged to seem natural.

“I've never seen an atrium. It's big, right?”

Joey smiled because the atrium was his favorite thing next to vandalism. “Hell yeah, dude. Come on.” He started leading the way and Joshua followed. The hotel was big, already able to be seen. It was a ten minute walk, straight down Simmons. Half way down the street, though, Joshua thought of something. Why was it so quiet? And where were all of the cars? The streets were empty. He looked at his friend.

“Joey, where is everyone?”

“Getting ready for a celebration thing. My dad's here helping them. Like, 25th anniversary or something,” Joey answered while walking. Joshua glanced around.

“...Oh.”

They reached the hotel. The really weird part was it being empty. There wasn't anyone at the front desk, there wasn't a bellboy, or people checking in, or anyone listening to the music that was playing from an old jukebox.

“Are you sure it's open?” Joshua asked, looking around the giant, ornate main room. Joey clicked his tongue.

“May-be not. It was unlocked, though,” the teen said, shrugging off the idea that they could get in trouble. But... would they? The lights were on and music was playing. It was sort of... like the people just up and left for some reason. But, Joey did say they were getting ready for some occasion.

...Hopefully not Alex's death.

“Come on, the atrium's here,” Joey said and walked to some big double doors, but Joshua looked at the elevator. The key was had the numbers 301. What if it went to that room number? “Josh, come on.”

Joshua glanced at Joey, stepping up to the elevator. “Um, I'm gonna see if my dad's up some floors.”

Joey scoffed. “Why would he be anywhere up there? Come on, it's not-” he trailed off as Joshua stepped inside of the working elevator. Then he sighed and followed his friend, who for once, got his way. Joshua pressed the button for the 3rd floor and the elevator lifted them up, dinging when they made it to the floor. Just a few feet in front of them was room 301. Joey looked at Joshua. “You think your dad's here? Dude, come on, let's-”

“I lied- I need to check something out,” Joshua said absently, walking up to the room. Joey laughed.

“You _lied_? What's this? Joshua The Sheriff's Son pulling some scheme?” Joey followed his friend, watching as the teen reached into the backback. “Okay, lay it on me, what are we doing?”

Joshua glanced at Joey. “...I'm just checking something.” If Alex wasn't in there, he didn't want Joey knowing that he was looking for him. If he was... then he'd have to think of an excuse. Or tell the truth, that could work too. 'I'm making sure that Alex isn't being held in here against his will to be burned later'. Yeah. That would settle _so_ well.

He pulled the key out from the bag and slipped it into the lock. ...It worked. It actually fit, silly enough. Joey gave him a look.

“Okay. What _are_ you doing?” he asked. Joshua tried thinking of what to say, but he couldn't really think of anything. He just unlocked the door and pushed it open. The room was dark. Joey reached across Joshua to flick on the light switch, but it didn't work. He clicked his tongue. “That sucks.”

The flashlight. Joshua got it out and turned it on, and the light helped them see that the room looked... old. Papers hung on all of the walls, and the bed was a metal, rusted frame, the mattress gone. And the windows of the room were blacked out with paint. Against a far wall-

“Alex!” Joshua cried out, running to the back of the room. Joey stayed at the doorway, giving a low whistle and muttered, “Damn.”

Alex sat slouched over in a chair, his hair filthy and hanging over his face, in his eyes. Joshua grabbed the man's cheeks and pulled his head up to look at him. “Oh, Alex...” The man's face was bruised and bloody. A cut in his left cheek, over the cheekbone, made it swollen, the cut surrounded by purple and yellow bruising. Blood and saliva dripped from his mouth, his bottom lip split open. His eyes were closed, one black with red bruising that made it look even more painful. His shirt was gone, showing that his torso had been just as abused. Bruises covered him, with extensive discoloration over his ribcage. Because he was slouched forward, Joshua could see that his back was bloody with long cuts and welts- from a whip of some sort, most likely. Joshua let go of his face and he dropped his head again, more bloody saliva dripping from between his bloody lips. The teen grabbed Alex's hands to help pull him up from the chair, but the man suddenly cried out in pain, lifting his head to look at who was inflicting the emotion.

He was nailed to the chair. Nails pinned Alex to the chair by his forearms. Joshua was overwhelmed with emotion- he brought his hands to his face. “I'm sorry!” he cried at noticing the bindings. Alex stared at the teen, the whites of his black eye a deep color of red. The man didn't seem to recognize Joshua for a moment, but he finally did and closed his eyes again. He breathed quick and sharply. “Joey, help me-” Joshua looked back at his friend, but... Joey stood with a blade pointed at the other brunette. Joshua stared at his friend for a moment before managing to ask, “Joey, what are you doing?”

“I didn't lie,” Joey breathed and shifted his stance, “When I said I like you, Josh. I do. That's why, I don't really want to hurt you.”

“What?” Joshua gasped, his heart beating so quickly that it was snuffing his breath from him. What the hell was happening? “What are you talking about? What's going on? Joey, _help me_!”

Joey shook his head and sucked his teeth. “I really can't. Everyone in town knows: family's pretty important. And my dad told me to keep you in line, since your dad is... your dad. 'Sure does suck I didn't know he was in here,” the teen looked passed Joshua at Alex, who looked like he'd passed out again. Then he looked at Joshua again. “You know I had an older sister?”

“Joey, what are you _talking_ about?” Joshua cried, staring at his friend. He was on the verge of tears. What was this situation?

“My dad killed her,” Joey spoke, “And yours killed some people too. My dad would want me to kill you right now,” he said, looking into Joshua's hurt eyes of beautiful confusion. He couldn't even speak right now. “But I like you too much.” Joey put the knife to his side and watched Joshua for a moment before looking at the open door. Joshua followed his gaze, heart beating like it was at risk of dying and his hands cold.

In the keyhole of the door was the key: 301. Joshua looked at Joey again, who was looking at his friend, but then the bigger brunette turned and ran for the door. It was so fast that Joshua didn't know what to do- run after? Stay still? Not a single thought stayed still in his head. Until Joey left the room and slammed the door shut. Until the key clicked, locking Joshua inside. Then the teen ran at the door and started hitting it.

“Joey!” he screamed. “Joey, let us out!” He didn't even know he was crying. He sniffed and wiped his cheeks, turning from the door and looking at the room that trapped him. The walls were filled with newspaper clippings.

**Carol leads us into another gathering of the Lord, who will accept and reward us.**

**Savior Carol plans to leave Silent Hill and join our homage to see us to Him.**

**The Savior Carol is a fraud; there is no greater good to accept our sacrifices.**

**Carol Doyle has damned us.**

**Carol Doyle's public burning will bring to us compensation tomorrow at 7:00, in Silent Hill court yard.**

**Reporting of Carol Doyle having a secret child leads massive manhunt between two towns.**

**Carol Doyle's Devil Spawn has vanished.**

Joshua calmed his breathing, reading the pinned articles. It sounded like some sort of dumb cult. How did anyone ever believe in cults? What was there to believe in? There's no real thing as religion. ...Did that mean that Adam and Lillian were crazy? Was the town? Silent Hill had all sorts of stories, but did their craziness spread to Joshua's home town?

The teen turned away from the clippings. He didn't have time for those- he couldn't think, and he didn't have time to. He had to get Alex out of that chair and get them out of that room. He walked back to Alex and dropped to his knees in front of the man, where the distressed teen reached up to shake Alex's shoulder, trying to wake him.

“Alex, get up,” he said softly, he had to wipe his eyes because his vision kept getting blurred with tears. “Alex, wake up.” He shook the man's shoulder, Alex's head rolling to the side like he were dead.

...Like he were dead.

Joshua choked on a sob. “Alex, wake up!” he grabbed the man's face to look at him, his eyes closed and looking gaunt. “Alex!”


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

 

 

Alex's eyebrows knit together like he were thinking, but it could have just been pain or a dream. He was still alive, though. Joshua swallowed the ball in his throat and hugged Alex around the waist, the man's skin sticky with sweat and blood that dared to dry. The hug made Alex's air hitch, Joshua could feel it in his body. The teen let go of him. “I'm sorry,” he said, looking at Alex's bruised rib cage. Alex looked down at him, eyes barely open and soaked in grey. He hadn't slept. Or he'd lost a lot of blood. Did he have any deep, bad wounds? Was he at risk of dying right then and there? “Alex, what do I do?” Joshua asked, thinking about running to get bandages but then remembering that: he'd been locked in. And he didn't know the first thing about first aid.

Alex opened his mouth to say something, but blood just dripped out in a stream, like in a horror movie. Joshua stood up and started wiping Alex's mouth.

He needed help. He had no clue what to do. ...Was this all his fault? Should he have never talked to Alex in the first place? Could he have prevented this? Alex closed his eyes again and Joshua grabbed his chin.

“No, stay awake, Alex,” he said. Alex looked at him with his tired eyes. Joshua decided... he had to get him out of the chair. There had to be something in here to help him stop the bleeding. The papers on the walls, could they help? Joshua ran to look in the dresser of the room. It was... depressingly empty. The teen looked down at his own shirt. Grabbing it at the bottom hem, he started tearing the fabric. He got two strips, hopefully long enough for Alex's arms. If he was bleeding anywhere else... he didn't know what to do. He couldn't do anything about the lashings on his back, or the bruising on his ribs, but he had to do something, and he could stop the bleeding on his arms.

If he got him off of the chair.

Joshua made his way back to Alex and pat his cheek to wake him up again, the man opening his eyes but not looking at the teen. “Alex, I'm gonna get you out of the chair, okay? Okay? So I need your help,” Joshua said. Alex closed his eyes again and hung his head low. Joshua was about to wake him up again, but then he saw that Alex was moving his fingers, even if just a tiny bit. The teen took Alex's hand and the man held his back, if lightly. Joshua gave a long, calming breath. “...Okay. Three,” he watched Alex, who's back moved with his breathing. He looked like he was trying to even it out. “Two,” Joshua looked at Alex's arm, where three nails pinned him to the chair. Did they use a nail gun? A hammer? Did they _enjoy_ it? “One.” Alex gripped Joshua's hand a tiny bit tighter and Joshua pulled his arm up from the chair, the limb catching on the head of a nail but coming up. Alex cried out in a deep, anguished pain, and Joshua hugged him, holding his head in his chest. “I'm sorry, Alex,” he said. Alex didn't say anything in return, his breathing quick and erratic. Joshua caressed Alex's head like his mom would do to him when he was a child, until the man's breathing calmed down again. Almost like he'd fallen asleep. He didn't, because he let out an intelligible whisper that sounded like a breath, but he was probably telling Joshua that he was ready for the other arm. Joshua let him go to move on.

Alex's right arm had been pinned deeper. He had five nails pinning him, and a long gash on his arm told Joshua that he'd probably pulled his arm away when they were trying to nail him down. He'd been a soldier, he wouldn't go down without a fight. ...Had he been one? From what Joshua _really_ read in his journal...

Alex let out a low groan, his hand resting in his lap. His arm was bleeding, as expected. But Joshua needed to get a move on so that he could bandage him. He took Alex's hand and, after an effort, got him free from the chair. Going to Alex's front, he slipped his arms underneath the man's and started pulling him from the chair. Alex was a lot bigger than him. That meant that Joshua couldn't do as much as he wanted to help him. All he could do was lay Alex on the floor, putting his head on the backpack for some support. Then he started wrapping the cloth around his bleeding arms.

He'd live.

...Wouldn't he?

It didn't matter. They were stuck in there. If they didn't get out, then Alex would be dead no matter what. As the man slept, Joshua walked into the room's bathroom.

Joey said “25th anniversary”. Alex was twenty six, and the coins were a year older than him. Twenty five years ago... they killed Carol Doyle. Whoever “they” were. At seven p.m. Was that planned for Alex, too? If so, Joshua left to Silent hill just after noon. It'd been, at least two hours. They had at least four hours before they would come to get Alex. If Joshua was right. If they didn't come sooner.

The water in the bathroom worked. And there were some first aid things in the sink cupboard. Joshua didn't know how to use some of the things, but there were more bandages, even if it was a very small roll. He left back to Alex, who lay passed out on the floor. He looked at the door.

It was locked. They were locked inside. And anyone could come in at any moment to kill them. ...Would they kill them? Why? Because Alex's mom was some cult leader who got turned on by her own followers? What a shitty way to die.

Joshua lay down beside Alex, watching him breathe. The only light in the room was the flashlight. It didn't fill the room with illumination, but it did help to see and find things.

Joshua let Alex sleep for about an hour. Throughout that time, no one came in to butcher them. Why? Did Joey not tell anyone that Joshua was in there? That he'd found the man they were going to torture and kill? That they _were_ torturing and killing? The wait was... agonizing.

The teen went back into the bathroom to turn on the shower. He couldn't sit and do nothing. He had to clean Alex's wounds. He needed Alex to wake up more and be able to walk on his own- he needed to get his strength up if they were going to get out of there. The room hadn't been used in a long time, so the water sputtered at first before running out of the shower head. Joshua walked back to Alex to wake him up, which the man didn't want to do for a while.

“Alex, help me. Get up.” Joshua tried pulling Alex up, but he couldn't. And Alex couldn't use his arms to get up, either. The man gave some exhausted breaths before using his legs to get up, Joshua holding his hands to help him up. When he was up, Alex staggered and almost fell, but Joshua caught him and helped guide him to the bathroom, where he brought him to the sink. “Try to stand on your own- don't fall, Alex,” the teen said, watching Alex in the mirror. The man stared down at the sink, holding onto the rim of it, his arms shaking from the pain that ravaged them. He held on, though.

Joshua reached around Alex to undo his pants. Under normal circumstances, he'd be blushing beyond relief. These weren't normal, though. He, mindfully of Alex's wounds, pulled the man's pants and boxers down his legs so that he could give him a shower. Alex didn't protest because he couldn't. He kept nodding off over the sink. Joshua grabbed him and helped the man into the shower.

The water stung Alex's wounds immediately, the man hissing in pain and pushing back against Joshua to get out of the running water. Joshua huffed.

“I'm sorry, Alex,” he said. Alex put his head against the shower's frosted glass wall.

“I can't,” Alex whispered weakly, “I can't do it.” Joshua stared at the man's wounded back, wet from the water that touched him a second ago. The teen glared and pulled his own shirt off, dropping it to the floor. Then he slipped out of his own pants and underwear. Stepping passed Alex, the teen grabbed the shower head and angled it to the side so that Alex could get in without the water hurting him. Alex watched him, and Joshua could tell that he was trying to get his protest face on. The teen grabbed him.

“Get in. I'm gonna clean you off and then we'll put fresh bandages on your arms.”

Alex watched Joshua for a moment, his eyes slipping in and out of focus as his exhaustion tried taking over. He let Joshua pull him inside and he sat on the shower floor. Joshua turned the shower head again and held his hands under the water, collecting some, before dripping it carefully over Alex's back. The man flinched, but that was all. It looked like it didn't hurt too much. Joshua kept doing that, running his fingers around the open gashes to wipe away the blood that had dried there. He rubbed blood off of Alex's neck and moved to the front of the man, where he could see that Alex's eyes were closed. Before he could tell him to wake up, Alex opened his eyes and looked at Joshua, as if to tell him “I am awake”. Joshua gave a light, tiny smile and started cleaning Alex's arms. His shirt cloth didn't stop the bleeding of Alex's forearms. It was slowed, but blood still dribbled out and mixed with the water. Hopefully the newfound bandages would fix that.

Joshua went up Alex's arms, cleaning them of dirt and blood, until he got to the man's face, where he caressed his cheek. Alex closed his eyes again.

There was no soap in the bathroom, but water was enough- soap would burn the wounds anyway. And Joshua wasn't trying to wash Alex, he was more focused on getting rid of the blood and cleaning the wounds a bit. The teen scoot closer to Alex and pressed his forehead against the man's, putting a hand on Alex's shoulder just to hold him. Alex didn't do anything, but he didn't pull away, either.

“...I'm sorry,” Joshua said softly. He looked into Alex's eyes, which were closed. Alex's breath felt cold against Joshua's face, the teen's face wet from the shower head that had rained over him. He looked at Alex's lips, the slit in his bottom lip that had sealed over his time in the room.

Three days. He'd been tortured for three days.

A long moment later, Alex's lips moved in speech, the man probably wanting to talk but having a hard time from his exhaustion. “It's not your fault,” he breathed, his voice breaking from his overexertion. He opened his eyes and looked at Joshua, the shadows of the dark room making his bloody eye look like it were filled with black. Joshua looked down, at his bare legs as he sat criss cross in front of Alex. Very close to the man.

“I'm sorry... for looking in your diary,” the teen spoke. He kept his gaze low. If Alex weren't so abused, he would probably get up and leave, or scold the teen, but he just sat on the shower floor with his forehead against Joshua's, because his wounded body trapped him there. He didn't reply. That must have been his way of letting Joshua know that he wasn't happy. Why would he be? He'd been tortured here for days. Joshua looked back at Alex's face, but the man's eyes were closed again. ...He'd either fallen back asleep, or he was faking to get away from Joshua. The teen dropped his hand down from Alex's shoulder and closed his own eyes, putting his hands in his lap.

l.l

Alex lay on the floor in the bedroom, asleep. He wore his coat that Joshua brought and was dressed, even if his pants were dirty. Joshua tried opening the windows to see outside.

There was no time in the room. There was no telling if or when they would be found.

The windows were nailed shut. Joshua hit the painted glass with his fist. They had to get out. He had to get Alex out. The teen started scratching at the paint on the window, but it was fresh and strong. Dammit. He looked around the rest of the room. If he could get a piece of the bed-frame, he could break the window open. He walked to the rusted frame and pulled on it. It squeaked, but it didn't break.

“Argh!” Joshua gripped his hair. What the hell was Joey talking about? Why lock them in there? It was like everyone had gone crazy all of a sudden. The teen sat down on the floor. He knew he wasn't strong enough to ram the door open. He knew that if they _did_ get out, Alex wouldn't be able to walk far and he wasn't strong enough to carry him. And the thought still lingered: they would eventually come for them. And Joshua wouldn't be able to fight them off.

He looked at the clippings again. They spoke various things about Carol's death. Lobotomized, burned at the cross, tortured by the townspeople. One paper had a photograph of a group gathered. Joshua didn't know a lot of them, so they were probably from Silent Hill. But, in the group was Judge Holloway and Mayor Bartlett. Dr. Fitch, too. They'd attended the burning. ...Did Adam and Lillian?

A sudden sound of footsteps started approaching the room. Joshua was quick to get up, hurrying to Alex, who's wounds looked worse now that they were clean and properly visible.

“Alex, come on- get up,” Joshua grabbed Alex's arm, but the man was out again. He wouldn't get up. “Alex! Come on!” The teen held Alex under his arms and started dragging him to the bathroom. The only place they could possibly hide. Alex breathed and tried slipping out of Joshua's grip, probably thinking he was a bad guy, which made it harder for Joshua to pull him along. “Stop it,” Joshua whispered sharply, looking down at Alex. The man didn't stop, but Joshua managed to get him into the bathroom. He dragged Alex to a corner of the room and shut off his light before facing the door. ...Whoever it was, he'd have to make sure they didn't get to Alex. If he could.

The hotel room opened- someone with a key. ...How many keys were there? And then there was the sound of someone walking around the room. Joshua could see the light of a flashlight through the bottom of the door, but then it moved away; a hand held one, scouring the main room.

The footsteps stopped at some point, like they were looking at something. Probably the empty chair. Joshua couldn't see anything in the dark bathroom. He couldn't see anything at all. It didn't scare him, though, as much as the attic did.

The footsteps started up again, heading for the bathroom. Joshua grabbed the doorknob and held it as strongly as he could. It tried turning, but Joshua wouldn't let it. The person tried turning it again, and Joshua held the knob with both hands. It stopped turning.

 _Just go away_ , the teen thought. The footsteps didn't leave the door, though. The person suddenly slammed their body into it, making Joshua jump. They did it again. Joshua jumped back just in time to miss the door hitting him as it flung open, and a light shined in his face.

“Joshua? What the hell are you doing here?”

Joshua knew that voice anywhere. It was his dad. He brought a hand up to shield his eyes from the light and gave a breath of relief, like he'd been holding his breath. “I.. came looking for you. But Joey, he- he locked us in here,” he said. He couldn't see anything because of the light that had blinded him, but he assumed that his dad looked ugly with anger.

“Joey?”

“He brought me on his dad's boat. ...I'm sorry. Is Alex gonna be okay? Are they gonna kill him?”

Adam didn't answer. Joshua could see his dad flash his light at Alex. The man pushed passed Joshua and went to the man in the corner. He pulled Alex up, putting one of the man's arms over his shoulders and holding him around the waist to walk with him. Alex barely moved. His head fell against Adam's shoulder in a wounded exhaustion. Joshua stepped aside as his dad walked up to him with Alex, walking the man out of the bathroom like his son weren't even there. Joshua turned his own flashlight back on and followed after his father.

As the three made their way slowly to the elevator, Joshua looked at his dad. “...Why didn't you tell me? About Carol, and the... sacrifices? Joey knows, everyone knows- I'm the only one who doesn't,” he said. Adam stopped walking, but only at the mention of Carol. He looked at Joshua with his grey eyes.

“...Carol wasn't the monster they made her out to be,” the man said, looking at his son. “They all loved her, looked up to her. ... _We_ all did. She was convincing. She could talk you into killing yourself.” Adam looked away, and Joshua could see the shame in his eyes. “She was mentally unstable. A good leader is a good leader, a crazy one is a terrible one. We were blinded by her charisma. She... convinced us that if we sacrificed people we cared for, then God would give us back the ones that we cherished. She had an affair with Bartlett, but he found out that she was previously married. He was jealous. He told everyone that she was a devil, and that she'd lied. ...What she did was wrong, but she didn't shame us. She was sick. We did this to ourselves. We killed our own families.” Adam looked at Alex, who hung limply from him. The older man looked guilty. “Alex has nothing to do with any of it,” he said, “But when he came back, they wanted him to pay for what happened. ...I didn't want you involved.” He looked at his son, who watched him. Joshua frowned.

“I got involved when no one _did_ anything. Mayor Bartlett's been raping him and beating him and you guys just made him do everything at the house like he was fine- he _wasn't_ fine, Dad! He's been trying to make you happy! He looks up to you! He came back for you and Mom!”

“No one asked him to come back!” Adam yelled at his son. Joshua glared at him. Adam watched his son before turning back to the elevator and pulling Alex along to it. He turned his head slightly to the side to say, “Come on, they're on their way.” Joshua didn't want to, but he pushed on to follow his father and Alex.

The elevator took them back to the first floor. Joshua had to get the front door for his dad, who walked Alex outside of the Grand Hotel to his police cruiser, which was parked outside and running. Adam put Alex in the back seat, laying the man across it, and then he looked at his son.

“Get in,” he said, before Joshua noticed his father's face fall. The teen looked behind him and someone had come out of the hotel after them- someone that Joshua had never seen before. They held a pistol, pointing it at the teen, and Joshua saw the hotel doors open to two more people stepping out also. ...They must have been waiting somewhere inside. It must have been time for them to get Alex. Joshua watched as the gunman pulled his gun's hammer down, but then the teen was suddenly thrust to the side. A gunshot rang out in the empty streets and Joshua looked up from where he lay on the ground. The gunman had shot his dad. Adam didn't show any weakness- he started shooting his own gun. The other two strangers didn't have guns- the woman had a fire ax, and the other man wielded a clever knife from the kitchen. “Get in the car!” Adam yelled at Joshua. The teen stared at his dad.

“W- Dad!”

“Go!”

The woman looked at Joshua and they locked eyes. She looked like a normal woman- a housewife. Joshua scrambled up from the ground as she lunged for him, and ran to the car, getting in the passenger's seat and slamming the door after him. He locked the door just as she tried opening it. Looking passed her, Joshua could see that the gunman was down, and that Adam was trying to disarm the man with the clever, slamming the man's arm against the outer brick wall of the hotel. Motion in the corner of Joshua's eye made him look back at the woman, who rose the ax over her head. The teen widened his eyes and leaned to the side just as she slammed the fire ax into the window, shattering it.

“Dad!” he screamed in terror. Adam looked over and got elbowed in the head by the man. The woman swung her ax inside of the car, trying to get Joshua as the teen scrambled into the driver's seat. “Help! Dad! _Ow_!” The ax slid across Joshua's left knee, his shorts leaving his flesh exposed for such a wound that left blood leaking down his leg quickly. The woman swung her ax again, and Joshua pressed himself against the driver side's door, barely missing her attack. “ _Dad_!”

Adam grabbed the woman by her shoulders and wretched her off. He looked inside the car at Joshua, the man he had been fighting laying on the ground. He looked at Joshua's bleeding knee, the blood leaking down to his shoe. He looked back at Alex's face, looking in his son's eyes.

“Drive back into town and get your mother, and then go straight to Deputy Wheeler.”

“What about you?” Joshua cried, looking down at his knee. He had a hand over the wound, but the blood slicked his fingers. Before Adam could give a proper answer, the woman was up again. “Dad!”

Adam looked just in time to catch the woman before she hurt him, grabbing the ax that she held so that they struggled over it. He glanced back at the car. “Go, Joshua!” Joshua stared at his dad, the man bleeding from a gunshot in his left shoulder. His father scowled. “ _Go_!”

Joshua breathed quickly and moved to sit right in the seat, taking it out of park. He didn't know how to drive. Should he really go? What about his dad? What would happen to him?

“ _Joshua_!”

Joshua started driving, slamming his foot down a little hard and making the car lurch before he started down the road. He turned his head to look out the back window, at his dad. The man had gained the upper hand, knocking the woman down onto her butt and raising the ax over his head. He brought it down, the blade cracking into her skull. The man looked at the car that Joshua drove, and the teen watched his father before noticing that more people were running over. Four, five, six- The teen looked back at the road, his eyes glazing over and ruining his vision.

Would they kill him? Torture him? ...Would he get away?

Joshua wiped his eyes to clear his vision, accidentally smearing blood onto his face from his wound. It still bled, but he couldn't do anything about it. He had to get back to town, and tell Wheeler what all was going on. Could he trust Wheeler? Would they be okay in town? Where was Joey? Would he cause problems in town? Did Adam even know what to do?

Joshua sniffed and shook his head. Was everyone in on it? Was Deputy Wheeler the only one he could trust? Why didn't Adam tell him anything before? This wouldn't be happening now if no one had kept secrets! This _shouldn't_ be happening!

 


End file.
